« τаκемеа-ωау »™

2011-05-18T22:01:00.002+08:00

Stuckinsg93 forever. Fml, IB is like the only international course that's not going international at all. Even going to nearby countries takes so much effort to plan.

Plan until totally no mood to go + so ex, kns think we all rich kids meh.

Okay, poly life is getting on my nerves again.

2011-05-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

This is like the first time in my entire life that i'm actually receiving a certificate of actual worth.

Okay, not that all the previous academic acknowledgements are insufficient, but everyone just receives theirs regardless. So this time round was a little more special.

Just hoping that i can keep the grades up and get myself somewhere nice 2years later.

Went to my friend's choir concert at the Esplanade. Frankly that's another first time for me.

The first time i'm going to some artistic and overly high-class theatres that obviously does not complement with me.

The first time i'm buying roses for someone.

And the first time someone specifically requested for me to buy flowers for them. Bhb max.

But i guess that might be the last time i'm attending such events. I think i almost fell asleep if not on account that i was afraid my friend would strangle me if i was seen dozing off at the front rows.

I miss the craps though.

So it's like almost an official month since school commenced and i'm beginning, or rather, dying under the stacks of tutorials and projects.

I can't believe i actually chose to have my argumentative done next week when the forum and politics test are also on the same days.

The only good thing out of this hasty arrangement is perhaps that after next week, i'll be free from all projects and just be left to fight with tutorials.

1. GBE summary not started. Editing grammar is under my list as well.

2. CRS discussion not happening until next week thanks to tight schedules.

3. IR preparation only done with chapter1 and the remaining 3 rotting at the back of my brain.

Conclusion : I'm not working this weekend.

There's pretty much nothing to look forward to in school as usual. At most it'll be the jokes and complaining with my friends.

Honestly though, i'm quite excited about the trip to do CIP at IMH. Yes IMH, if you're dumb enough not to know what's that, it's aka Woodbridge.

Don't know why i'm anticipating it when i should be worrying whether i'd agitate the people and worsen their condition. Or maybe they'll just think i should stay in there for eternity.

But i think that'll be a good experience. I mean, not many people gets to see what's inside for themselves. Usually they'd all be deterred on the mention of these people with special needs.

Kay me so tired today because me woke up at freaking 8am to memorise IR so me shall go sleep now and edit grammars tomorrow since the complicated partner hasn't sent me the report.

2011-05-02T22:20:00.001+08:00

2011-04-26T17:01:00.002+08:00

Suddenly feeling so fucking glad i didn't transfer class last year. I bet i wouldn't fit in in the first place. Plus some people just annoy the shyt out of me. Like seriously, why don't they get it.

Anyway, i'm just hoping that year2 and 3 flies as fast as possible so i can graduate and leave the school and start afresh in a university or somewhere that i can make use of my knowledge. But definitely away from those people from my course. Except for close friends of mine.

2011-04-24T22:10:00.002+08:00

Taken outdoors on the way to Starbucks.

The entire trip was much relaxing although not 100% entertaining. But what can i expect from going with a group of adults, like seriously.

I like it there.

Sadly, i've to come home and it's like happiness and sadness combined. Heading home means it's time to return to my boring life that consists of studying and studying and nothing else besides studying.

Nevertheless, hope to go back there someday. Probably with my friends. At least there would be greater communication and understanding. Or rather, we could do something crazier than under parental supervision.

& ME SAW 2AM AT KL, OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS THAT LUCKY.

2011-04-19T21:55:00.002+08:00

但一切cui到不能再cui的时候，你就知道你进错了班。

Fuck, this is so fucking cui ttm i wanna explode can they just bang wall and die and release us from their torture so we don't have to clear their saikang although it appears as if they're the ones doing the saikang.

I feel so duped in this course i hope i would have at least something to miss about schooling days after i graduate. If not, it's just a pity i spent 3years with a bunch of jerks.

2011-04-18T22:01:00.004+08:00

Fml, the friggin' umbrella took forever to close i had to get a nice-looking stranger to help me close it and i was almost late for lessons on the first day of school, double fml.

Nb the mrt keeps getting delayed for no reason. Kns most annoying thing is i was literally stuck at JE and it's only 5mins more before i reach school.

I don't exactly have a good impression of FM even though it's just the first lesson. It's like stats + theories = disaster.

GBE might be rather hopeful since the groupings are, THANK 观音妈, arranged individually. I like that guy lah, so nice. Bad memories from DBE so i'll see how things progress later on. Freaking notes costs $7. I need to make like 80calls to earn that money back sia.

Law was.... very law-ish. Actually i kinda like it. I mean the arguments are rather intriguing just that i wouldn't be so sure when we've to memorise the stuffs. Even the tutor said international law is the toughest, omfg we're dead because the teacher said so.

Anyways, i can't believe i'm year2, the first day of school ended, and we're gonna go back and have like 4hrs of 3 different lectures.

But i did realise, why do all the year1s, or year1-look-alike/people with year1 aura, like to keep looking at people. People walk, they look. People queue up, they look. People talk, they look. People eat, they also look. Where's our privacy ?

& it's fun to see how everyone's dressing like it's a fashion show. I'll bet after a few weeks, they'd all be in SP shirts.

2011-04-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

Hi, i have school tomorrow. Yay.

Nah just kidding, fml.

For a new school term, i'm hoping that :

1. Lectures with year3 students keeps me entertained or at least, keeps me awake. I mean, it's better than dozing off and hearing nothing right ? Not like i'm desperate, it's just that i think i might die from looking at the same ~~cui~~ faces of those in my course throughout the 6months.

2. Project groupings would be up to individual preference. I've had enough of bullshyt. But at least now i know how some people work.

3. ....

Actually the priority is the first point. The second is kinda like a demand or i'll be so screwed.

Okay, time to work hard. No more slacking. No more using phone during lessons. Hopefully.

Kthxbye.

2011-04-10T17:31:00.002+08:00

It's been eons since I've been here. Okay probably not that long but it feels so.
Just decided to come back and take a look and update about life. (Oh right, life's just like that so there's nothing much to update about, really.)
It's raining cats and dogs with non-stop thunder and lightning. Even worst than before. Not like I'm not already used to seeing lightnings flashing across the sky randomly at night, but it just kinda sucks when I've to switch off almost all the electronics. So now I'm sitting in the living room using my phone, with my dad, waiting for my mum to finish cooking and probably for the lightning to cease which should be pretty soon. Hopefully.
Yeah that's all. Imma try to appreciate nature and the seemingly scary weather while it lasts. Provided I don't shut my eyes and ears when it gets too glaring and loud.

2011-03-21T20:33:00.005+08:00

I have officially given up writing tons of things because i just deleted an entire chunk of what i took 30mins to type.

I'll declare my tumblr so i can totally stop backspacing my words here.

& i guess twitter shall be my 24/7 updater so blogger isn't very much in use from now on.

It's raining and mass thundering over here.

Everyone's writing on twitter how they're afraid of thunder and lightning.

But i guess it's too bad they never really get to see how majestic nature is. I mean, after that failed astro trip to the beach at night with a sudden mass downpour, it kinda changed my view on those stuffs.

Just that i still wouldn't take my chance and walk out under a tree/into open space like that. Probably when i'm a little older and i've got nothing to lose then i'll give it a go. Hmm.

And just came across something rather frank about humans at times, on tumblr. HAH. :

2011-03-20T19:53:00.002+08:00

1. It's Monday tomorrow. Which means i've to work. Fml ?

2. On a brighter note, it means that i'll have the $$$ to buy my Converse so let's reduce the impact of FML by 50%.

3. Failed to go to the temple lately due to tight schedule. So this means i've to pray at home while waiting for the results.

4. And i think it pretty much sucks to have to work on the day results are released.

5. Which brings us back to the conclusion that i wouldn't have a dilemma like that if i were a little richer like some people out there. *Ahem*

6. I can't wait for Malaysia trip.

7. My phone has more clothes than me. It's a headache to have to think about what i want it to wear when i can't even settle my own.

8. I hope i make it through for FOP.

9. 50% of me hopes that i don't so i won't have to work with some guys.

10. The weather's been too unstable these days and working has killed my week instantly.

11. That means i don't exactly have the time in the world anymore to sit outside and stare up.

12. So there goes my hope of figuring those things out.

13. I should live in a penthouse in the future to easily facilitate the purpose pointed in number11.

14. Perhaps i should stop going out so often with adults. Incapable of coping with their numerous "romance" tips, if you wanna call that.

15. & thus resulting in my further conclusion that they are secretly wishing i stay single forever.

16. Have i said this ? It sucks to have to grow up.

2011-03-18T20:18:00.003+08:00

Okay, i wanted to blog something longer. But that feeling just came back so i'm just typing and deleting it all over again.

So i'll just leave it as that and i'm still alive and kicking and living very well. I think.

Maybe i should concentrate on worrying about my results.

So many things running through my mind at the same time and i can't calm it all down together. Feels as though i'm going insane soon. Which means it must be about time for me to head to bed.

Miss muaa, kthxbye.

2011-03-16T21:01:00.002+08:00

So i got a job. If you want a sibei pro name, it's Appointment Setting Officer.

If you want to put it bluntly, it's telemarketing.

Who would've known i would 沦落到 being the person calling others when i always got annoyed when random people phoned me.

With common knowledge embedded in the brain from the dramas on television, i do stereotyping. Okay, so basically, i would classify all these calls as scams.

Well, this new job has made me realised that it isn't exactly a scam anymore. Lots of complications, but i guess it's called "What comes around goes around". Thanks, i've learnt my lesson not to ignore such calls anymore. I mean, after learning how tough it is for telemarketers to look at a list of 5000 names and call them one by one.

Thankfully, the horoscope was spot-on today and i really did make excellent progress with 10appointments. And it's only the 2nd day at work and i was still considered "in-training".

Makes you wonder if it's a good thing you're competent because i had to multi-task between 2projects immediately. Are they short-handed or do they simply have such a high level of confidence in me..? Hmm.

But anyways, at least the blending in and socialising doesn't pose any problems, so that's one worry down.

Ohyeah, frankly i didn't expect so many people to listen to us finish our subject before telling us their interests. I was more or less expecting them to hang up halfway while speaking or just interrupt us and shut us up.

So it was yet another surprise when there're actually so many people well-mannered and polite despite their annoyance that i unfortunately, is unable to comprehend because i don't bother to do "body language understanding" through the phone.

And their english was good. I like to hear how females reply "speaking" when i ask for their identity. I'm no sicko, it's just that they sound demure enough through the phone and it's better than speaking to guys because they sound so buay song most of the time and i can't exactly determine how handsome they are just by judging from their voices.

It should be the case though. For people earning $3k and on, their etiquettes shouldn't be questioned.

Basically, that sums up the analysis of my new job.

Although i don't really anticipate the daily waking up at 6.30 and sitting there straight 3/4hrs, but compared to other tedious jobs, it's considered a good catch.

Shouldn't even be complaining because i'm in desperate need for money.

Okay, working 5days a week is like first ever in my employment history. Wait, what history - I only took up one job and that's practically the end of my job lists all the way till now. Malu much.

Anyways, i hope i'll be able to tolerate a life like that in the future. If i do happen to become one of those businesswoman or something.

Now i can only do catching up on weekends. Sigh.When you have money, you have no life. When you have a great life, you have no money.

Suck it up, next time i'm gonna have a great life while being rich at the same time because i'll earn enough money/at the very least marry Jonghyun and spend his money for him.

2011-03-14T18:16:00.003+08:00

Accompanied the JC people to NUS openhouse yesterday.

Actually i was quite turned off when i realised we had to meet up at Dover station for the shuttle bus. As if i needed more reminders that i'll be heading back once school reopens.

Seriously though, i had no idea what hit me and made me go down there either. It's not like i'm so smart i'll skip year2 and enter year3 immediately.

Probably just by looking at the JC students preparing for their final year, it makes me feel like it's not too early to start planning for the future. At least i'd be a little more aware about what's lying ahead and get a glimpse of it.

NUS isn't exactly my dream school. None of the universities are. It's just on the top of my list because, well, it's NUS. I think i wouldn't be too particular about my choice if it revolved around NTU and SMU either. But that'll still have to depend on my results which sadly, isn't out and even more unfortunately, isn't up to the mark. I didn't even make it to the 10th percentile on their business degrees. Total cui-ness.

Okay so despite being a little disheartened, it's not too late to start working my way up although i'm sure people from other parts of the country would be working doubly hard for that small number of seats open for polytechnic students.

天生我材必有用. I'll find my place somehow.

And yes, after looking at that line of "Macro & International Economics" under one of their modules, i've decided that i shall be a little more expectant towards the future and hope that i keep this mood till the end of the 3years..

Celebrated Huiwen's birthday early in the morning today because some of them had to work afterwards.

And followed by a exciting piece of news from my friend, omg. Me loveszx her.

So if everything goes well during the supposed training tomorrow, i'll be employed. Yay !

Initially i was rather hesitant because i was more or less fixed in the unemployed mood but i thought i should just make myself useful rather than lazing around at home with a book in hand.

Now i'm feeling pretty glad i made that decision. At least i've got someone i know to accompany me on and off work.

However reluctant i may be, i've to admit that poly education actually seems rather useful. I know this sounds like crap because everyone before me concluded that poly exists to prepare you for the society so naturally, it's supposed to be close to real-world situations. But being the usual joker, i still prefer to experience it for myself before coming to a statement. Call it being a natural born risk-taker. HAH. Anyways, certain current issues and scenarios are beginning to remind me of things i learnt throughout the past year, which means that i actually did make an effort to remember/sustain what i memorised blindly long enough.

I know i sound as though i'm writing a novel or you're just freaking out because you thought someone with a much higher english vocabulary book "possessed" me. but it's the english books making an impact on me. An absolutely normal occurrence which happens everytime i go near books. Truth be told, i like that. Although sadly the vocabularies stays temporarily before i switch back to the "Syllables commonly used by Singaporeans" once i stopped reading for too long.

Which is why i like reading. FINE, I'M A GEEK OKAY. Pfft.

2011-03-12T19:45:00.004+08:00

Fuck this piece of shyt. Thanks for ruining my mood completely.

2011-03-12T02:11:00.002+08:00

One moment it was total peace. The next, it's absolute chaos.

Okay so after the Australia flooding thing, we have the Japan tsunami. It's as though the Earth is trying to tell us that we're dying soon.

Not that i really wanna believe in the existence of 2012 since i choose to think that the Mayans just forgot to continue calculating the rest of the years, but such natural disasters are making other hypotheses seemingly impossible.

And then i feel so sinful being so safe.

Let's just pray since you won't 少一块肉 if you spent a minute in silence.

Anyways, i was totally right about the job. I think the guy didn't lack the sense of responsibility, he was just coward enough to not break the news to us. So fuck you.

To think that i actually had a good impression of him. He could bang wall and die for all i care, tsk.

So now i'm officially unemployed again. Somehow i can't help but wonder if i really have the "unemployment luck".

Ohyeah, after he agitated and pissed us off with that piece of information, i decided against wasting my precious time on stabbing him mentally and headed down to the library, yay !

In the beginning i was rather worried that i wouldn't have time to bury my head into books but i guess now i've got all the time in the world to borrow as much books as i like.

And frankly, it feels good. Not that i'm 宅 or anything. 2books down, woohoo !~

&& there're so many movies i haven't/want to watch, zomfg.

GNOMEO&JULIET, WIMPYKID, IAMNUMBER4, HOP, PIRATESOFTHECARRIBEAN, RANGO etc.

2011-03-10T22:58:00.002+08:00

After centuries, we finally went down to the Botanical Garden. For real. Although the picnic wasn't a success what with the rain ruining things, the beauty of the place could never be diminished.

It was as if we entered an entirely different world. I know it sounds absurd but the interior's breath-taking and i'm not exaggerating.

It sounds pretty xiasuay for me to say this now because i'm supposed to be familiar with such places since i'm a local but in fact, i think this is the 2nd time in my life that i went and actually, it's more like the first time i have memory of it. The first time was when i was as young as 5. Like i would remember anything i saw in the first place.

Anyways, my camera was being a total disgrace for losing to my phone's resolution, wtf. I should just use my phone to capture all the photos rather than relying on my camera. Waste of money ?

Yeah, so that's pretty much the life of someone who's still waiting for job confirmation and enjoying life at the same time.

Damn, speaking of which, that guy could've been a little more responsible and get back to us within these two days as promised. I don't believe that he'd be so busy as to forget about it.

Sucks much.

Especially when i've got 9014873 things to do with 0 assets to invest with.

2011-03-08T22:15:00.002+08:00

Exactly like what i always say.

Anyway life's been good. 0% sarcasm, i mean it from the bottom of my heart.

The so-called interview was a breeze because it seemed more like an interaction session. Well, that's partly thanks to the guy killing the awkwardness for us. Saves our trouble too.

Now all we've to hope for is that he gets back to us and we start work next Monday.

And then there's the attire problem.

Which is followed by the worries of going blind from sitting infront of the computer keying in all those tedious numbers and words. Screw it.

It's like real accountant work without the debit and credit. And so i should be thankful i DID NOT choose accountancy. I must be in the wrong state of mind if i did.

Technically, it's a pretty easy job. Literally OL style since i always wanted to try something like that when i was a kid.

You would've thought it was fun but after the mini test of typing the serial numbers, i'm beginning to have second thoughts. Nonetheless, still quite easy money.

Before we move on to the working phase, it's time to enjoy life first.

Let's hope i play hard and work even harder.

Ohyes almost forgot, i've only about 2weeks to celebrate/enjoy before results are released.

Don't you wonder if those people are retarded or retarded. Why would you want to be reminded of your results ?

As if receiving the SMS early in the morning couldn't kill you enough. They had to back it up with solid evidence of mailing you the information when there're things called "emails".

I guess they think for those who're anxious to know how well they flunked their papers, like me, so i guess they're taking full-round preparations like that.

My brain has been too free these days because i'm having headaches. Or maybe it's just because i'm sleeping too late so all the heatiness is getting to me again.

But whichever the case, i shall turn in earlier tonight and hope that i'll be fine tomorrow.

Maybe i should treat the headaches more seriously. Like considering to make my brain work and process more resourceful information rather than stuffs like what to eat for lunch.

I'm sucha no-lifer these days it sucks to be around me. Wait, it sucks to even bore myself out.

Hokay that's all, CIAOSU.

2011-03-05T23:19:00.002+08:00

It's been almost a week since school holidays commenced and feeling so darn carefree at this moment. Except for the probing thought of having to find a job to sustain myself.

Everything seemed fine since i've been heading out almost immediately after exams ended.

Now, when i stop to think about things, it suddenly hit me that something was wrong.

And the only thing that doesn't feel normal is that, i'm too free.

It's like feeling so light and having no burdens of finishing up tutorials or projects that it becomes a little "awkward" when you ask yourself unconsciously, "Hey, do i have any tutorials or projects that have to be completed by this week ?"

Not that i hate the current situation, i guess school must have tortured me to such an extent that i feel abnormal not doing anything academically-related. And as if i would start reading up on relevant subjects for year2 modules.

I'm just saying.

2011-03-03T02:36:00.002+08:00

Some people just like to attempt to be someone they aren't and they think that it's their position among others. But if you really aren't, then no point trying to force things right.
Even if you're my friend, your actions scares me at times. The constant moodswingings, I guess.
Perhaps it really is that we just aren't the kind of people that crosses one another's path due to personality differences.
You know, sometimes you're the one that ruins things and no matter how much you try to piece it back together, it's not gonna work anymore.
That's what happens when someone tells me the joke went overboard and that's why that distance isn't gonna close up anymore.

2011-03-01T22:15:00.002+08:00

I guess the ending of year one and the pre-start of year two gave me the concept that i should make some changes in my life.

Since it's pretty obvious i wouldn't be too successful in personal changes, i've decided to make the better of things and change technologically. E.g. My web browsers and edit my playlists by adding one song in.

Frankly, changing the things once awhile doesn't seem that bad. A fresh start.

And yes, my mum told me that it's okay if i really can't find a job this holiday.

Actually i'm quite happy to hear that. LOL.

BUT, being 17 with a +, means that it's time i stepped out and support myself without relying on my parents RIGHT. Like so throw-face if all your friends are slogging for $$ and you at home take money from your poor parents. You don't want your face but i want mine.

So i'm still gonna try my best to find somewhere to work at and hope it helps to the list of employment i have. Mine's the most xiasuay among my poly friends zomg.

*Random*

I miss Harvest Moon, argh. T___T

Damn, i miss the retro game that i played on my sibei retro playstation that never evolved and goes kisiao once in a blue moon.

I had a bunch of cows ! And a bunch of chickens that never dies.. of ailments ! No sheeps because they die when i shaved their coats off leaving them to shiver in winter. AND I HAD A FRIGGIN' HORSE I COULD RIDE AROUND THE FARM.

Ohyeah i almost forgot.. I even had a nurse as a WIFE because i came in between her and the doctor and she gave birth to a BABY[which is mine, in another sense].

Apple, why you no have Harvest Moon ?! ZZ.

2011-02-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

FOM, i'm trying my best to love you, so please do reciprocate that same feeling for me too and be lenient on Monday okay.
I've tried and i'm not sure what else i can do.
Is it the best effort i can make ? I'm not sure myself. I don't even know if i can consider the 16hrs i spent on memorising the notes, enough efforts to pass the paper.

Sigh.
Thinking about the end of exams now. Very not looking forward to FOM paper.
And kinda looking and not looking forward to finding a job during holidays. No money no talk though. Tsk.

2011-02-22T22:33:00.002+08:00

Hi, let's go see the northern lights and pretty night sky before we go crazy okay.
...
I think i'm just going mad from the "aftershock" of realising econs paper wasn't tomorrow and i hurriedly finished revision today for nothing.
Okay, at least i found out before i reached school.
Nothing much to blog so just continue to miss me, kthxbye.

2011-02-19T16:02:00.001+08:00

What my archive looks like generally.
Happy 1000days to SHINee ! Fighting !

2011-02-17T21:41:00.002+08:00

今　わ　わかってる。
I was wrong. I think i can finally understand why at times, some people can't tolerate you.
Either it's the appearance[?]/impression that you convey, or it's just the personality part.
And i thought that maybe things would work out differently, i guess i still don't hit it off well with people like that.o
Just have to remind myself constantly.
At least i know that i've got something that makes me different from you.

Did anybody question my ability to finish memorising 100pages of econs ?!
Because i actually did complete it. And i even completed it 4hrs earlier than i expected.
Whether i'm really ready to complete one paper is still in doubt until i attempt the paper tomorrow.
No idea why, there's been this floating air of uncertainty around that makes everything seem particularly tough and unpredictable. Which is scary in a way.
I guess it must be the 15days of CNY period thing. Well, the good thing is that it's the last day now and i'm hoping i can settle down and get all the revision done.
Work doubly hard over the weekends !
I just heard that we're supposed to throw something[oranges ?] into the sea to get a good husband[??]. Never heard that from my parents, but if that's the case, then i think i shouldn't carry too much hopes. 18years gone like that, no point of salvaging ?
But then again, i should be at the beach instead of sitting infront of the computer and rotting right ! Doing something is better than doing nothing.

2011-02-17T00:38:00.002+08:00

Hi econs notes, why are you so thick-skinned ?
Although i understand what you're trying to say, but it's taking too much time to understand and memorise at the same time.
Besides, 50pgs to memorise took me about 5hrs already. Imagine how much time it'd take me to complete the remaining 100pgs that i never memorised before.
Please cooperate with me and i promise that i'll do my best to decipher you okay.

Suddenly lost without direction.
Hope exams end asap and that i don't have to worry whenever i don't get enough sleep at night.

2011-02-15T22:25:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's time i begin to worry about my choices and perspectives.
Nothing gained from it except insights, philosophies and confirmation of my own theories.
18years and counting.

2011-02-14T22:10:00.004+08:00

In celebration of the end of projects and presentations, i'm not doing anything else besides resting for today.

Happy Valentine's Day !
Happy Single-Awareness-Day !

2011-02-12T23:28:00.002+08:00

I wonder if i'm efficient or that i'm just assuming that i am efficient.
But either way, i'm done with memorising for PACC. Shocking, i know. It just took me 5hours and i'm still questioning myself whether it's in my head for good.
Besides, the headache i had while studying earlier today, probably due to sleep-deprivation these days, wasn't exactly helping. Not appreciating that very much, but on the other hand, still glad that my brain decided to cooperate with me and managed to cram as much stuffs in as possible.
I think the talisman thingy worked.
Plus, i completed the exam paper she gave us for lecture ! Yay ! Minus the 1hr i took just to comprehend one of the entries and i still haven't gotten it figured out till now, but whatever.

Parents aren't home and it's 1130pm already.
I mean, usually they'd be in bed by this time, thanks to my dad literally forcing my mum to sleep when he dozes off.
It feels quite weird. And awkward around the house..?
I would have accompanied them to go to my relative's house. Thanks but no thanks, it has to be that particular relative that i like the least. I'd rather stay at home and be bored to death than to look at her face and tolerate her attitude with a fake smile on my face.

My heart skipped a beat when i saw there was a light flickering on the floor when i headed to my parent's room.
It was just the fire.

2011-02-11T23:29:00.003+08:00

For some unknown reasons, i feel particularly detached from the... blogging world ?
Probably because i'm almost on the internet the entire day but i'm never anywhere near blogger nowadays. I mean, with tumblr around, blogger's more like a back-up plan.

Anyways, GEMs presentation is finally over and that's another big relief. Whether the ideas and presentation was an overall success is another worry that i shan't trouble myself with at this point in time.
Taking a nap of 2hrs doesn't seem to make much of a difference. I think i'm still as tired as before.
Which makes it even maddening that there're all sorts of weird behaviours on the train these days. It's either people are doing weird stuffs, or they're just weird on their own.
Gets frustrating when you want to sleep and you've got people sitting beside you threatening to sleep-lean over the "line".
Maybe i should turn in earlier today.
With ITB, i'm having a headache now. Good thing i'm done with it. That is unless they say they want to add in other details which i hope isn't going to happen because i've almost had enough.
Slacky people like me aren't supposed to be in-charge of finishing the database. But i am. And the best thing is that some of the work given to me was much more...ZZZZ.
Complete win, yay.

Long day tomorrow. Gotta finish memorising PACC. Like really.
Else, there's definitely not enough time to do revision.
Life's so great i can't help but sigh.

2011-02-09T23:30:00.002+08:00

It's ironic how some girls go around saying how happy they are to be single.
I mean, if i threw some handsome guy that loves them this instant, they'd be saying how wonderful it is to be in love.
Sometimes i wonder if they mean it for real, or are just trying to comfort themselves that nobody has guts to confess to them yet.
Maybe i'm just judging them by my own books, but that's how it appears to me as an outsider. Yah, outsider, so that means i wouldn't understand it.
Come to think of it, perhaps i won't even want to comprehend their minds.
I must admit at times, it's pretty tough to read the minds of girls. They change so much that it becomes a chore trying to decipher their thoughts. I think i'd have to hibernate for 3days 3nights in order to have sufficient energy to start pondering about their mindsets for 1day.

Valentines ?
It's gonna be like how i spent it the last 17years. Except that i'm spending it with my dear SB building because i love it so much i'm going back to have presentation, yay.
If someone really loved you, everyday is Valentines' Day. There wouldn't even be a need to particularly celebrate February 14 because everyday is like February 14.

Somehow, i feel really lucky that i don't have to go through that ordeal.
The complications and lack of courage.
Congratulations to her, she has done something "reckless" the day she announced she would.
Maybe i wouldn't consider it reckless since it's the best solution. But to her, it might be.
Ohwell, not like the world's gonna explode just because things aren't going the way as hoped. Life goes on, we just gotta suck it up.

2011-02-09T00:12:00.003+08:00

The highly anticipated CNY holiday has ended for 2days now.
Life back in school is still rather copeable probably because BC's finally off the shoulders. Well, it was over today when it could have been yesterday, thanks to my old thumbdrive being so outdated that even the computers in the printing shop refused to open the file.
But what matters is that it's all over now, and i'm not intending to think about it anymore.
The problem now, lies with ITB and i'm VERY worried about whether it's acceptable.
Plus with exams nearing, double stress.
So stressed that sometimes when i sleep my way on the train, i just wake up startled halfway when my brain subconsciously reminded myself what was waiting ahead.
Tried to stop procrastinating but failed, thanks to epic fatigue.
No idea why but CNY feels like it's draining my energy slowly and the effect's still there.
Must be because i didn't catch up on enough sleep. I mean, it's like waking up in early morning, heading out all day, and reaching home at 1am. And it continues for the remaining 4days, including the weekends.
Good thing is that ITB lesson is cancelled later today. Not exactly cancelled, but more like consultation for projects. But i guess nobody has the intention to consult her in anything, so it might as well mean that it's "cancelled".

Anyways, another friend's 18th birthday ! Wooh, sometimes i feel quite happy that it's their birthdays because it means i'm still the youngest one. HOHO.
& Valentine's day has become an advanced April Fool's day, seriously.

Imma chiong to complete GEMs slides and memorising PACC later today !
After my nap, that is. Yay.

2011-02-05T00:41:00.002+08:00

Since i'm feeling magnanimous and benevolent, i shan't hold it against "small people".
Let bygones be bygones ~ In that i don't mean forgetting what she did, but just that i didn't enjoy having her presence.
& it got kinda sucky that after i finished the curry then i knew that she was the one that cooked it.
Omfg, nothing to comment.

Another long day, but i'm quite shocked that i managed to get 5 ads done in my free time today.
At least that's half the worry down for GEMs.
The rest of the day spent at Grandma's house mainly consisted of us entertaining my baby cousin.
Somehow i think that i'm just a replacement. Like those 呼之即来，挥之即去 entertainment.
1. She likes boys more than girls. She bugs my boy cousins more than me and my other girl cousin.
2. When she doesn't need me, she shakes me off.
Is that considered cheating my feelings ? Boohoo.
Why does she like the company of the opposite gender more than her own ? *Cries*
If she knew more guys, i think she'd forget she has a cousin like me. *Faints.

2011-02-03T01:21:00.003+08:00

It's the long-awaited Chinese New Year !
Although i'm excited, i'm not exactly happy about it as well.
With a festive mood, i'm bound to slack off and not start studying. Just like how i have perfectly demonstrated that awhile back.
I just hope that i can get something done during this period. Have to fully-utilise the remaining 3weeks i have on hand.
Anyways, the reason i'm here at this hour, 130am, is because i'm trying my best to be filial and 守夜 for my parents.
I have no idea why i always end up dozing off during important days like that, but i'm wide awake when it's just some other random days.
So for now, trying to keep my eyelids from closing as best as i can.
If i manage to survive till 2am, that's considered quite a feat already.

Yay, gonna meet my relatives tomorrow. Oh, i mean later on. HEH.
I think we'll still wander around the neighbourhood and head to McDonalds, just like last year.
Getting me to sit at one spot and gamble is almost impossible. Even sitting at the mahjong game for 1round is enough of a pain.

SingTel, return me my messages ! ):<
Ohyes, and please give me my messages as well ! D:<
Stop eating them up with jam because i need them. HMMPH !

2011-01-30T18:02:00.002+08:00

It's been raining so often since yesterday. Rain, stop, rain, stop, rain.
Not that i hate the weather - it's the best kind of weather/temperature you'd wish for before you sleep/nap. But on the other hand, it just means that work productivity is almost zero.
Lucky for BC, she postponed the submission date to after CNY, so i guess i still have another week to modify, if any.
& i'm not exactly satisfied with my progress in FOM. I just memorised what's coming up for the lecture test so that just says that i'm still not prepared for exams.
Although i promised i was gonna complete GEMs, i'm still stuck at the selling points and the ads, so i think i'll just continue with my unfinished PACC.

So much to do on a day like that.
I should be in bed.
Or at least, i shouldn't be doing anything.
I guess i'll have to bring notes and my laptop with me during CNY. A great way to celebrate. (Y)

2011-01-28T23:13:00.002+08:00

You know what sucks? That.
I guess I shouldn't be asking for so much since I'm also one of those that behaves like that.
But for the umpteenth time, 我只有被利用的份吗?
Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Or maybe it's really the end.
People come and go, time to get used to it..?

Lying on the bed and surfing the net at the same time. Quite perfect.
Just that I'm not really in the mood, no idea why.
I should be overjoyed because I'm done with BC.
Well, like I said, 'should'.
只想躺着什么都不做。把那些烦恼都抛开。
They were right. If Sagittarius can't cope with it, they don't.
For some reason, I like the sound of that. I'd say it's filled with "attitude".

2011-01-27T21:17:00.002+08:00

I'm panicking now. As always. But somehow it feels different this time round. Perhaps because i know it's going to be much tougher than before and i have no confidence that i can make it through.
Although i did listen as much as i could during lectures, but it just didn't seem to be enough.
Which makes it all the more depressing because not only am i 0% prepared, i've to start memorising during the CNY period.
I hate final exams. Semestral exams are already tortures, i can't imagine what it'll be like if i've to cram all the information into my brain and not overstrain it at the same time.
I guess it's been too long since i've put stress on myself. I can feel it coming.
Insomnias are inevitable again.

Hope i can finish my proposal by tomorrow. And yes, not forgetting the powerpoint slides so i don't delay Crystal any longer.
And i thought that after FOM presentation, i could be released of some burden. I thought wrong, apparently.
I think what the teacher said today was rather crap because i couldn't exactly feel my confidence. It was as if i was there to give a talk with a memorised script and a robot body.
I guess it doesn't matter anymore since the most crucial thing is that i get a good enough grade to pass my FOM and stop worrying about its projects and more on its theory.

Listing out how many things i'm familiar with and confident in doesn't make things any simpler.
On the contrary, it actually makes me all the more jumpy because i know that it's just all talk and no actions up till now.
Which is why i'm really hoping that i can 争气一点 and complete BC tomorrow so i can focus on tutorials and memorising PACC.
This feeling of uncertainty sucks so much. Exams sucks. Life sucks.
My heart's literally jumping and that makes me jumpy and i'm jumping till i wanna cry already.

2011-01-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

The previous entry was too cui and i couldn't tahan reading it, so i'm going to rewrite another. Just to update this lifeless little corner.
Can't wait for tomorrow. Not because i'm excited about having ITB test. Am i crazy ?
Okay, maybe part of me is anticipating AFTER ITB test since it's like half a burden removed.
Plus, i'm hoping i can rush home after school to settle 90% of the proposal so i can really start panicking for GEMs. I think i'm mentally unstable already. I mean, who looks forward to going home to finish their homework, seriously..
Ohwell, FOM is considered more or less done. 5mins, please don't let me overshot.
And yes, i'm nervous about the stupid SIM card reactivating. Damn, if the mistake wasn't made, we wouldn't have to spend 60 unnecessary dollars trying to amend it, and i wouldn't have to wait for 3days to get it all done.

Let tomorrow and the day after tomorrow pass quickly ~
CNY, please come asap. I love you a lot. And i don't mind if you brought your friend, Angbao, along because i'm sure we'd all get along excellent. Love, me.

2011-01-21T23:48:00.002+08:00

Good weather, good sky, good day, good evening.
Everything's almost perfect since i've managed to force myself to complete both PACC and Econs tutorial in school earlier on.
Although GEMs' brainstorming is still a headache, at least i can say i'm heading somewhere so it doesn't really mean i'm not progressing at all.
Thanks to constant chilly winds and the sun to moderate the temperature, i must say it's been quite awhile since i've seen such a nice weather. Plus i didn't sweat at all the entire day ! I mean, usually i'd be "drenched" when i reach the GEMs classroom or when we're at the balcony observing stars. Today's a rare exception.
The presentation they did today made me feel that at least there's a little hope for them.
There were too many nice and fascinating things to look out for so i'll just give up on listing them. And the moon is super duper damn round today. I think it's on par with mid-autumn festival, and maybe even rounder/brighter !
Well, i'd say everything's good. In general.

But i came back to looking at the exam schedule and it's cui ttm.
Exactly one month before exam starts and i have barely gotten all the concepts into my head. I think i'll survive PACC and Econs if i put in a little more effort. For FOM, i'm still unsure. Just hoping that i can at least identify and come up with some strategies on the spot.
*Praypray* 亲爱的观音妈，请保佑我 !~
Being overwhelmed by the shock of realising exams are round the corner. *Pulls up socks*
...
*Heads to bed*
Tomorrowwillbeabetterday, tomorrowwillbeabetterday...

2011-01-19T21:28:00.003+08:00

I hope all 4projects' complete because at least there's still something to be positive about.

I think i have a phobia towards intimacy. This is so ridiculously complicated.

2011-01-15T15:27:00.002+08:00

I think rather than wasting time in school sweating and doing mostly nothing each Friday night, we should all just head down to the Science Centre. I mean, it's air-conditioned, free, have better telescopes, a better view, and a 360degree-turning dome that i could play with all night.
Always thought that those things didn't exist in Singapore, and TADAA, it just poofed out in front of my eyes yesterday. So i guess it was a rather experiential trip. It would have been better without the rain though. Somehow i think we just aren't fated with such things. No idea why.

I hope the zodiac signs still remain the same. Like seriously, i don't want any changes anymore. Since we're all accustomed to it, just stick with it. And what the heck is Ophiuchus anyway. I still prefer Sagittarius more.
At least i'm not the only one affected. But it just feels jinx-ish/too coincidental that i fall within the date range of the new sign. Tyvm.
Dear Earth, stop wobbling on your axis and keep still so maybe we wouldn't have to discuss something like that already.

2011-01-12T23:41:00.002+08:00

Happy 18th birthday to Elissa & Gan ! Yay yay yay ! :D

It feels as though it's been a very long time since my birthday passed when in actual fact, it's just about a month ago.
Sometimes it feels amazing how you're born at the end of the year and your friends are turning a year older than you almost immediately after that.
Anyways, i don't think they can feel the sincerity from my text even though i stay up till 12am just to send it to them before crashing on my bed.
So i guess that means i'll be walking around J8 to find something suitable/presentable/affordable.
Frankly, 18th birthday doesn't seem much of a difference to me. It's like another ordinary birthday. The only other priviledge is that you can go drinking. Officially. Not that i'm going to start downing one entire bottle on my own anyway.
Mini celebration today, actually it seems more like a gathering, was rather successful and fun.
Hope we could really get to go out together more often. Together as in all 8. At least it feels a little more complete.

FOM is still ongoing. 70% done, i guess. Hope we could get it done by the end of this week.
ITB not yet started. Like as if we know how to start in the first place when she didn't even teach us all those stuffs.
BC introduction not yet started. Seriously i have no idea what information i'm going to use so i think i'll just work on that on weekends.
GEMs project assignment on Friday and quite dreading it. But well, i like my GEMs class more, and the reason's kinda complicated so i'll leave it out !~

2011-01-11T17:29:00.002+08:00

Didn't realise it's almost been a week since i updated about my life. Here.
Not that it's gonna change anything but i was hoping it would really serve as a form of recollection about such "good ol' days" in the future.
Days pass just like that, with or without me ranting here.
I've not gotten too far for Econs although doing tutorials did seem to work a little. But a little isn't enough, obviously.
Projects aren't very much ahead either. No idea what i'm going to do about it. Think of a plan when i'm in the mood.
Friends ? Social life ? Connections ? Almost zero.
Which is why i decided i'd head down to NYJC even though i was more interested about the plans with my bed.

Random headache, wth.

2011-01-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

Haven't i mentioned before that everyday was happening. Yeaps, i almost forgot about that myself until i heard about the incident today.
Imagine it just being the fourth day of school and all these is happening.
Just got so fucking frustrated when i knew about it. Like wtf, if you have anything unhappy, just settle it face-to-face rather than stabbing people at the back lah.
Tmd, 赢不了就来暗的。
Even as a third party, i feel extremely upset and angry for her. Seriously, sometimes i wonder how people can let such things get by without speaking for themselves.
Maybe i'm just not that self-sacrificial as compared to them. 我没有那么伟大。
Perhaps it's because i've had enough of all the bullshyt in the past.
Anyways, this has reminded me how relationship works if you don't try to get along. What happens when you've decided that you didn't give a damn anymore and just offended people like it's nothing.
Not that it's bootlicking, but social relations are like the priority. Interesting that we're just learning the ropes but we're acting as if we're in the real world.
后果负担不起。长大应该就是在想这些事吧。

3 projects. BC barely taking off but glad that the ideas are almost finalised. FOM almost finished besides the editing and powerpoints. ITB, no freaking idea what we're supposed to do so i'll just leave it.
I'm not ready for final exams.
I'm not prepared to cram all the things i learnt in the past year together.
But i guess all these just means it's time i get prepared.
What was my resolution for this year again ? Paying attention during lectures. And i broke that because i was busy yawning/closing my eyes.
Everything is a worry. But econs seems more troublesome. I'll get it figured out, hopefully, by the end of the week.
做不到就改姓。 *Surname, not gender okay. I don't have the ability to change that.
LOL, so steady. But somehow i think i'll procrastinate.
I accept the challenge.

2011-01-05T17:48:00.002+08:00

It's been 3days in school already. In the blink of an eye, the first week's coming to an end already.
As expected, returning to school means it's the official start of our projects. No more procrastinations allowed or we'll all be screwed like last year.
Duh, going back to school after one term means get back results for exams right.
Didn't feel as though i did very well because i'm sure there're a lot more people out there who scored full marks. ~~Crazy one. As if anybody's going to steal their 100marks.~~
Even though i did put in effort, i guess i got these results because the paper on its own, were rather easy. Not trying to boast or anything. Even the teachers keep saying "VELI VELI EASY", tyvm.
So far only got back Econs and ITB papers. Heartache for both papers, especially Econs but ohwell.
Gotta buck up this term. I'm already panicking that nothing's going into my head, wtf.

Pray for me okay. Pray that these results can pull up my GPA to 4.0. Jk, 3.8 i happy already. Kthxbye.

2011-01-01T02:22:00.002+08:00

Happy new year ! The long-awaited 2011 is finally here ! :D
I'm having quite some expectations for myself in the new year because it signifies a fresh start. Which means everything in 2010 shall remain in 2010.
Quite glad that i decided to be not so lazy and meet my friends for the countdown because i'd regret if i realised i've missed out on some parts.
So anyways, a new year means everything has restarted.
My first hug, kiss, poke, gamble, house-visiting, all gone in the first few hours into the year.
Finding it much more meaningful this year because i've finally had my first experience sitting on the back of the lorry, enjoying the breeze despite the disheveled hair, as seen in the above picture, and wind hitting my face numbing it.
Dedicated my first official drink for 17years as well. The previous red wine in weddings aren't counted. I think i shouldn't go anywhere near such stuffs because i thought i was drunk just by smelling the Martini. And it tasted so bitter i think i'd rather drink chinese herbal teas.
But i'm still feeling happy that i got to catch spectacular fireworks so close-up. Wonder when was the last time i saw fireworks already. I think i didn't manage to catch any in 2010.

I have a mad idea about getting a lorry in the future and hiring a chauffeur while i sit at the back. LOL.
Okay, i'm already looking forward to the end of 2011. :P

2010-12-30T23:10:00.003+08:00

2011 new year resolutions
1. First and foremost, let me get an even better GPA. Or at the very least, let me maintain it.
2. Second most important thing is that i'm hoping the new year marks the end of my emo/crying days, and let me dig that smile out again.
3. Become a little more mature. Okay, not too mature since it sucks to think too much. Just become someone that my dad would consider “会想的人”.
4. Let me be a little richer. Be it being a little more thrifty or striking the lottery when i don't gamble. Money is of the essence !
5. Appreciate the existence of bastards.
6. Stop being so 粗鲁 and become demure. :D
7. Pay more attention to lectures/tutorials rather than phone/laptop.
8. Be more devoted to praying. I'm like 人在心不在 now.
9. Everyone around me to be happy and healthy !~
10. Find my 人生の目标.
11. Try to jump to Japan.

2010 evaluations
The year pretty much, started well because of the rather decent Olevel grade i got. Sort of like a turning point in my life. And then followed by the class chalet which was the best, i wouldn't trade the memory for anything.
Time flew, poly started, and the alienation began. Seeing all the different types of people i thought never existed when i was in secondary school. Though it's quite a sucky experience, i guess it has made me understand certain things and learn to adapt over time. Despite the constant temptations of punching them, i've to thank them for letting me see another side of the world. And also because of them, it has shown me who are the ones that actually cares. Ohyeah, entering poly means having a new CCA and i'm kinda glad i said goodbye to art club permanently. However, astro hasn't exactly improved much of my knowledge because of my incompetency to read up on relevant topics. Yeah, imma improve on that.
Consider the breaking-down period another major lesson.
1month holiday that came after exams was a blast. Catching up so much that i thought i wouldn't be able to handle it. But that was the most eventful holiday i ever had in my life. And through it all, i got to see some other sides of my friends so it makes me ponder whether i even know them enough to be called their friend.
Now as we reach the end of the year, i still don't feel that we're close enough. I'm not sure if i should add "bonding more with classmates" as a resolution because it's a two-party thing. Optimism doesn't make conversations when the heart is closed.

Which sums up to quite a bit of growing up, though my parents still questions that. Sigh.
However much i disliked some people because of all the troubles that they've posed as we work together, with the ending of the year, it seems that the mood for hating has ended with it. Now i'm hoping that all these stays in 2010 and that 2011 would be made up of happier memories.
I sound so noble, right - 大人有大量，大人不记小人过.

But tell me why we still have problems when the year is ending..

2010-12-29T00:15:00.002+08:00

One of the main reasons why i'm always behind fashion is because it's too troublesome, costly and also a constant headache.
Have you ever wanted to pull your hair out just on the thought that you didn't have any clothes suitable for presentations ?
Which is why i think being a guy is also much better than a girl because their outfits are standardised and easier to grasp.
I even have to think whether i should get pants or skirts and what tops to go with it.
Frankly, i don't even understand what's the difference between semi-formal and formal entirely. It's so freaking retarded. If you want it formal, just say it. Don't tell me some in-between which i can't make out of.
So i ended up resorting to asking my aunt if she had any unwanted formal/working clothes she didn't want and now i have 2 big bags on the floor.
Though most of them didn't seem realistic, i guess i could keep it till perhaps, for attachment usage. I don't want to have to run around finding clothes in year3 and wasting tons of money even before i start earning it back.
Okay, at least it's good to know that i might be half prepared already. More shopping on Thursday, not that i have shopped in these 3weeks.
As much as i want to get everything necessary into my closet, i'm hoping they're all within my budget because these clothes aren't cheap and i don't think my mum's interested in doing "refunds".

I can't believe i spent almost 8hrs at my Grandma's house without any other source of entertainment besides tv, and maybe my cousin that came at about 7pm.
Still wondering how i survived without dozing off, though i was tempted to.
At least i did something meaningful with the spare time rather than lazing around at home.
Going out tomorrow, yay, like finally. Life's starting to pick up pace again and i'm not complaining about it. Yet.

2011's coming in 3days' time.
I haven't exactly thought what are the things i gained this year. So maybe i'll think about that later when i'm in the mood.
My new year resolutions are almost done and it's almost the same as every other year. Or that i just lengthened it with certain changes.
There's still too much on my mind i think i'll grab an ice-cream to calm myself down. At 12.30am. (Y)

2010-12-25T20:43:00.002+08:00

The boys i once knew, are growing up.

2010-12-23T23:43:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wish Spongebob was my friend.

I thought i was the only one. Looks like i can never remember that there are also others out there going through the same things as i am. Perhaps worst. And i might even know some of them.
Was just reading some of my friends' blogs awhile ago, just to see what they've been up to recently. It makes me feel so guilty to realise now that things weren't exactly too smooth for them when i thought it was. Even more guilty that they're my friends and i'm clueless.
I was right to consider the idea of popping the question whether they cried in the past few days. At least i could try to do something.
Or maybe i might just screw everything up and end up asking why i even bother when nobody else does.
Okay, this sucks because i'm not getting to any conclusions.
Just hoping that 2011 would be much much better than 2010. Though of course, we already know in our hearts whether it would be for the better or otherwise.

Went to Nex with SP to watch Tron Legacy today.
And i can't help but realise that the architects in recent years, love to situate toilets in such deep and discrete places that the time to walk to the toilet is longer than when you stay in the toilet itself.
You might as well just pee while walking.
No logical explanation i can come up with. Unless they're trying to test if our bladder is functioning normally, or get us to burn a few calories at the same time.
Anyways, i'm addicted to the bikes and flying discs in the movie. & the movie has been another evidence to remind me why i am nowhere near technological softwares.

I will start on research tomorrow. Really.
Holidays is ending soon. Once the new term commences, it's back to projects, lectures, dozing, projects, tutorials, projects, panicking, exams.
Makes me recall the conversation i had with SP earlier on, talking about how truly pathetic we are even though we had everything we need in life..
If you could enter AJC given that you would be leading a nerdy and no-lifer life, would you take the offer ?
If you were granted with GPA 4.0 and all you have to do is become a 井底蛙, always asking questions, being singled out by friends as a result, facing social problems and taking it in by yourself, would you do it ?
For my current lifestyle, i won't.
But since the current lifestyle isn't as important as academics, wouldn't the answer be obvious enough ?
~~Which makes us all pathetic, doesn't it ?~~

2010-12-22T00:18:00.002+08:00

Yeah, i guess i'm putting that as one of the wishes for the new year as well.

Decided to get my hands on a few good books after being stuck at home for two consecutive days. Might as well find something to kill time and i'm dead sure i'll be cooped up at home for a little longer too.
I guess i'm trying my luck since stupid Elena suggested to join this free iPad event eligible for those who borrows at least 6books.
Nothing to lose since coincidentally, i had 6books with me too.
And so we just dropped in our book receipt into the box without even looking at when the books were due. It was until i reminded her before she went back to the box and looked at the date.
Ohwell, it's good to know that they'll last me for about a week, leaving the other remaining days for project purposes.

Frankly, i don't even know what to blog about for other days because it wasn't considered uneventful but at the same time, not very eventful either.
Ohyeah, it's the day where you eat 汤圆 ! Right, it's called 冬至 and not 吃汤圆日, if you're that dumb.
I hope mum's making tons of 'em because sadly, this year's 冬至 falls on a weekday and they don't have time to prepare considering the fact that they've to work. ):

2010-12-18T23:51:00.000+08:00

Exactly my point. All the time.

2010-12-17T00:11:00.002+08:00

I thought it was a good time to cut my hair before the new year. And also to cut it way before just in case things turns out bad.
I think i'm becoming an expert at predicting things because my fringe sucked. As usual. I specifically told her i didn't want to cut it that short, but she insisted that it looked nicer that way and snipped it off for me.
She might have just cut my entire fringe off since it doesn't make any difference between having ugly short fringe and none at all.

I had intended to change my hairstyle to forget my worries and get my mind somewhere else rather than getting frustrated.
Somehow after cutting, it feels like as though nothing has changed. On the other hand, it feels all the more like it's getting out of hand.
Damn, i should just stay at home for the next 2weeks and sulk.
Seriously, i'm just hoping 2011 is much better than 2010.

2010-12-14T21:49:00.002+08:00

I did not get this picture from Google, so you don't have to bother finding an exact replica of this one because this is the one and only picture existing in the world and can only be taken with my 3MP lousy phone.
This is 50% of the reason why i decided to spend 13bucks going to the Comics convention which turned out to be quite a disappointment aside from the several interesting things that happened there.
Anyways, i least expected to find this at the shop because i had the idea that it was going to be quite hard to get my hands on it, as you may infer from the previous entry.
Well, one day after that post, i actually got one myself. Consider myself lucky or that it's just destined to be mine. HEH.
I guess it's just that opinions differ. Some might like such stuffs, some don't. I can't get them to love them like i do, neither can they stop me from it. But it gets quite tough trying to explain why i'm hooked to such stuffs, so i'll just stick to being called "immature".
But seriously, i'm tempted to buy that "Death note" book. It's damn cool, even they agreed ! Good thing i didn't buy it at the convention because it costs 15bucks there and only $8.50 in the shop.
I might give it a thought. Then maybe i can write ~~your names when you agitate me~~ notes inside and be a good student !

The trip today was rather fruitful because i bagged home 3books, yay. 1 English, 2 Chinese, and i'm hoping none of them disappoints me. I'd stab myself because i'm going broke thanks to them.
Still wondering how i'm ever going to hide the books but i'll do that later since i'm not intending to take them out anytime soon until i finish the library books.
Spent quite a sum of money, but i guess it was all worth it.
Now i just need to get a black bag for the new year, pin all the badges up and i'm done.
Feeling over the moon now, so i'm willing to forget that i just got bugged by FOM about an hour ago and think about what i wanna do tomorrow.

2010-12-13T17:32:00.002+08:00

I decided that the earlier entry was too draft-like and incomplete, so here i am trying to correct and keep things simple.
Basically, i'm quite disappointed in the Comics convention even though i bagged some badges home which was rather worth it and now i've to get a black bag to pin it up but that's not the point, the point is there wasn't any dgray related stuffs there and the only things i saw there with my Allenwalker pictures is a plastic fan and this pathetic necklace with the words "D gray Man" on it. End of story.
Looks like i can no longer depend on such stalls/stores to give me what i want.
Maybe it's a better idea that i save up and really, just wait till i have the $$$ to fly to Japan myself.
Or i might just consider getting it online, though it's on high demand and obviously, if you learnt/remember econs, you'd know that high demand equates to high prices.
Anyways, i'm a little dying inside just thinking that the badge still isn't mine. Ohwell.

Headed out to watch "Rapunzel". It totally reminds me of "The Princess and the Frog". No idea why, probably because it was the last Disney princess movie i watched since eons.
Nonetheless, the entire movie was comedious, sweet, touching, and a whole lot of nice songs. As expected, it ended with a "And they lived happily ever after". I guess that's what Disney is about.
Okay, at least it's something good that the endings are always happy since sad endings pretty much sucks when things are suspended in the air.
I think i have a crush on the guy, aww man.

Anyways, watching the movie totally removed the thought that i wasn't going to watch meteor showers in the evening.
Not that i was actually thinking about it because it didn't really hit me till i came home.
Ohwell, you know what ? It's raining.
Too bad for those that were going to watch the meteor showers then. HEH. :P
We'll be wishing on planes, as usual, for now. I just hope that we aren't constantly depending on the "we have 3years, don't worry" idea that we end up not seeing a single thing even after we graduate.
Okay, the weather's so good it makes me want to sit, emo, sleep and do nothing.
It's so good to sit at home and slack around while watching all your friends mug for their upcoming exams. That's life for you, yay ! ;)

2010-12-11T22:51:00.002+08:00

It's just the second day of holidays and i'm already feeling like a week has passed.
But i guess it's a good thing that i still have another 3weeks ahead of me for me to relax, breathe, enjoy life a little, and face projects afterwards.
Though i would be more than willing to put the thought of "projects" aside, it just occurs to me naturally whenever i think about what's waiting for us at the end.
Not that i keep thinking about it. It just dawns on me whenever i'm alone and planning for the "next steps". It's a benefit to be easily distracted when i'm with friends. At least my mind is definitely not anywhere near studies.

So i was quite touched when most of my friends had prepared DIY stuffs as my birthday present.
Major thanks to my intelligence of coming up with hand-made gifts so that it touches the heart even though it might look cheapo.
Yeah, which means i'm actually reaping what i sow now. Tons of cards, pictures, memories.
I don't mind even if it's a piece of A3 paper with crappish words scrawled across but with each word, it brings back memories and what we all shared.
That's probably one of the reasons why i take forever to pick a present and i often tend to get something for my friends after getting to know them for about a year. Things takes time.
Back to the day's events. I didn't expect that Rebby, Lixuan & Elena would be joining us. Thought they might be having plans on weekends, like they always did.
I'm a bad friend because i didn't even know Elena was home alone while her family ditched her and left for Malaysia. I should've extended an invitation to her to come sleep at my house. Okay maybe not, i'm afraid i might die from talking to her.
Anyways, i got curious what they prepared for me when they handed me the THING they did. All credit goes to Seemin for commenting that she wanted to see my "epic response".
Yeaps, it was so epic i laughed in the middle of the road with people staring at us. I even squatted on the floor. (Y)
But all normal humans would have done that if they saw the ridiculous work. I appreciate it though. To be honest, i kind of like it. And i think i'm gonna hang it up on the wall and wake up laughing as i see it every morning.
With the bunch of retards, it's quite tough to not stay sane and keep a poker face the entire day.
Not forgetting the prezzie Chaongin and Rayna prepared for me. It's totally compatible with the doll Rebby gave me during sec3. HAHAA. I guess it comes as complements, just 2years later.
Still cute, and as quoted by Chinchao, it's "as adorable as me" so they picked it for me. Aww.
& the hand-made big card that Xiuyi made with pictures of the two of us only. Kewl, i didn't even remember taking so many pics together.
See, it's a good thing to be camwhores because in times when you want to make interesting birthday gifts, you can have access to these pictures as and when you like.
Okay, enough of the credits thing. They all should know i'm thankful to them. :D
Spent the rest of the day at bookfest and walking around Suntec doing retarded things.
Had Astons for dinner, for the first time, and the experience wasn't too bad.
I got caught off guard. Again. -.-
Was playing with games and suddenly, they started singing happy birthday songs. I almost wanted to dig a hole and bury my head with everyone looking in our direction.
But yeah, i appreciate the thought of them making it a surprise. Yay !
I told you i got a bunch of sweet friends though they might make you want to slap them when they start talking rubbish and make you talk rubbish with them too.

That pretty much ends the day.
I'm kinda lazy to update on what i did yesterday, so i'll just leave it as a bookwormish day that ended with Starbucks and a whole lot of walking.
These two days, though tiring altogether, was meaningful. I always feel accomplished when i'm out and running about instead of sitting in front of the computer and being a lifeless zombie.

Okay, i'll consider taking pictures of the presents i received this year.
But on second thought, maybe not.
I'm in a bit of a sticky situation right now, with all my unglam photos with Rebby and Elena.
I should prepare my camera on standby mode so that i can take down all their unglam moments and compile a book of unglams at our 6th or 7th friendship anniversary.
& i still think it's kinda cool we actually wrote our wishes on the big balloon ball that'll be released at iLight Marina. :D

2010-12-09T20:06:00.002+08:00

I'm so happy about the end of exams that i'm willing to let go of the "being duped" feeling. For these few days only though.
Call me being petty, but i wasn't the one at fault so don't make it seem like i'm to be blamed for everything. Sometimes i ask myself why i even bothered in the first place.

For now, i'm going to look forward to bookfest and comics convention. HEH.
I know this spells trouble since my wallet's definitely shrinking but it's a once-in-a-year thing so i don't really mind.
& i'm so effing happy i got so many Jonghyun-related presents this year. HAHAA.
First, the SHINee shirt from classmates.
Then, the Jonghyun chibi shirt from Steffi and Rach.
I'm so touched. *Cries a sea*
Even the things they write in the letters are craps and rubbish that only i can understand. LOL.
Yay, thanks to the two of 'em, i've thrown PACC at the back of my head. (Y)
Okay, off to watch GDA. SHINee daebak !

2010-12-06T21:47:00.002+08:00

Nothing beats waking up to the spam of messages from your friends.
At times like this, you can see who are those that really cares about you. *Cries a river*
Anyways, expected some, unexpected some. Mixture of feelings, but everything comes down to “有心就好”.
See ! I don't really mind not having presents. Though i don't say no to presents either. :P

The mini celebration in school was quite, surprising. Okay, on second thought, it wasn't exactly "mini" since everyone in Fc5 was literally staring at us make a fool out of ourselves.
In the past, my birthday always falls on holidays so not many people remembers it since it's HOLIDAYS.
So theoretically speaking, this is the first time i'm celebrating in school with classmates and being smashed in the face with cake for >=2 times. (Y)
Even though i'm hating my hair for smelling like cake up till now which is about 10pm, i appreciated the entire effort to make it a surprise for me. So yeah, i'm the happiest girl today ! :D
Despite a handful of people having birthdays the same day as me, i really don't think they could be happier than me. HEH.

List of people to thank :
1. Nabilah, Huiwen, Elissa, Gan, Crystal, Yiying and Baoling for the celebration & SHINee shirt + an effing cute Jonghyun badge. <3
2. Yongzhi for the present. Shock of my life. Including malu of my life. Never get present for him. *Bangs wall*
3. Mad for the budget birthday present of Snackers from KFC, last minute order. LOL.
4. Xiuyi for calling me after making sure i was free, through FB because her MSN died. HAHAA.
5. Chaongin for getting Xiuyi out to use her phone and call me to sing for me but sadly, i didn't pick up. I'll look forward to when you sing for me, CHINCHAO ! :P *Prepares earmuffs*
6. & the whole lot of people that messaged/wished me. You know who you are ! *Cries another river*

SP has finally given me something worth commemorating. Like, at the end of the year.
I guess it's never too late. Better to be late than never, right ? :)
It was definitely a deed for me to wish people happy birthdays on FB. I never knew how happy you could feel just from getting wishes from everyone. Whether you know them or not.
It makes you feel special. Even for just a day.
The best way to know who cares about you, is on your birthday.
Fuckyeah, i got a bunch of freaking good friends. I think i hit the jackpot or something. HAHAA.
That's about all. I'll add on if i can think of what i'm thankful for, besides my parents bringing me to this world 17years ago, and my good friends.
Everyone in 409 is finally 17 ! :D

2010-12-04T22:27:00.003+08:00

One of the things i wouldn't want to give up is the ability to make people laugh.
Even if i can't really get myself to smile from the bottom of my heart, i wouldn't take that smile away from others.
At least, it gives me that satisfaction to know that i can still make someone feel happy. To know that i can still achieve something in life. No matter how insignificant that moment of happiness is.
I was just beginning to worry that i might become a little too normal and boring since i've been withdrawing my sense of humour till i even question it's existence.
Maybe i should practice more with Xiuyi. I miss her. I miss them. I miss everyone.
I guess it really is a chance for me to reflect on my behaviour in the past. What comes around, goes around.

These 2 days without light also reminded me the importance to not take things for granted. I was literally blind without it. Thank goodness my parents repaired it today.
And it's quite shocking to know that i was reading technological-related articles. If you were reading my blog, you'd know that as much as i pursure technology, i hate it. Love-hate relationships.
Time to grow up, stop being a spoilt brat, not bug my poor parents, save up, wait patiently till August, and it'll be over.

Okay, i memorised PACC, and i've more or less forgotten what i stuffed into my brain.
I was halfway through recapping econs until Xiuyi came and talked and crapped with me.
Yeah, i get distracted too easily. But i'm gonna train my multi-tasking skills.
Recap while crapping, ohyeah ! ;)
I can't wait for exams to be over. 3weeks of holidays dedicated to BC and FOM projects, but it's better than nothing.
Let's jump and fly away !

2010-12-02T22:47:00.001+08:00

It fucking took me one second to realise that the light in my room was spoilt. I stunned there because i thought it was power trip. Scared the hell outta me.
But the lights going off is bad enough. Now i'm using comp and watching tv in the dark and i'm not really agreeable to this act considering the fact that it damages the eye.
Guess i'll head to bed even before watching BOF today. ):
Stupid freaking light, my parents aren't even willing to get out of bed to help me change it. -.-

Okay, i feel so disappointed in myself, thanks to twitter.
I should go to bed, seriously.

2010-11-30T23:24:00.002+08:00

Don't you miss the time when all you did was sit on the couch and start playing Gameboy the entire day ?
In the past, one day felt like forever. Fine lah, it might have been because i never bothered myself with the quality of my homework that's why i could always find time to play games and find the day too long and boring.
Come to think of it, i miss the time when i didn't even know what "procrastination" was.
It was actually one of the shocks of my life when my mum told me off about delaying schoolwork and not working hard enough unlike my primary school days where the first thing i do once i get home was to eat, shyt, and do homework before playing.
Life was definitely simpler back then. Maybe because i was dumber in the past. I mean, if you consider procrastinating as a form of high intellect.

Makes me think back, and compare the present with the past.
Ever since school started this term, it's been homework and projects all the way. No breather at all. I suppose business students aren't considered humans.
Just when i thought that with the almost-commencing exams, projects would be put on a longer-than-temporary halt.
But the breaking news of a new assignment during BC almost made me faint. ZZ. English proposal assignment somemore. Win. (Y)
No matter what, i guess that's my life and i can't do much to change it. Gotta keep moving forward, working harder than ever, and become a slave to grades until i get that freaking sheet of paper.

School was quite happening, as usual. Sometimes i can't help but think that poly life is so effing drama. And it actually makes me speechless.
Well, that sorta explains why i'm 200% quieter than my normal self. To be silent than to say the wrong things. I doubt people in school would be appreciative of my honesty.
Okay, all i can say is that some people should just grow up, and freaking get a life. For a 17year old, it's really retarded and idiotic.
Girls always get emotional when they see their friends start crying. The best situation is that everyone starts to take turns to cry.
Not that i'm complaining, but it's damn awkward when you don't even know how to console them and all you can do is watch them being watched by others.
& that's why i suggested that we all cried together. At least we wouldn't have to bother trying to comfort one another because we're all too busy pinching our noses and becoming rudolphs.
But the day's ending already, so we should just throw everything behind and continue on.

I was kinda dreading tomorrow because we were supposed to meet up for project discussion.
Thanks to our highly efficient kena-saboed leader, we don't even have to go back to school !~
So i could use the entire day to study ITB, memorise econs, do another PACC paper, and prepare script for presentation.
You think it's impossible ? You really think so ??
I think so too.
You never know until you try though. I'll see how much work i can get done. I just hope that i'm still sane at the end of the day. Stats really did quite a number of damage to my brain.
Speaking of which, poly presentations seems more duapai than meetings. We're wearing like we're going for some national negotiations when the working groups are wearing a little less formal. Are we overly-exaggerating or what ?
No choice, i've to follow the formal-clothes group too. Omg, bang wall die is much easier than that. Formal clothes very expensive one, you know. Do i look rich ?
Okay lah, i know i got the 千金大小姐 look, but do not be deceived because you'll be shocked if i flipped out my pockets.

I should turn in after watching BOF. Hyperactivity at 12am isn't exactly a good thing considering the fact that i've got quite a handful of stuffs to finish the next day.
I can't believe November ends in another 8mins. It felt like just a few days ago when i blogged how fast October had ended.
December, normally i would have looked forward to it. And i still am. Just that exams doesn't really keep me in the mood. After the papers, perhaps.
Though i fear it, i'm hoping it's all over soon so i don't have to go through all these mental tortures any longer.

2010-11-26T18:21:00.004+08:00

Can you be happy just by following your feelings ? Because it only works halfway for me.

Happy that GEMs presentation ended.
Glad that i got Starbucks to celebrate the end of one project though this is one of the most smooth-sailing project ever.
Depressed that i missed Wall E & black holes.
Even more depressed when i've to start reading econs in about an hour's time.
Dying when my phone dropped off the bed, shut itself off, and full battery to low battery.
Can i dump my phone in the bin ? I've had enough of such things. If nobody's contacting me, i guess i'll be fine without one. ZZZ.

& i'll most probably skip prom.
Frankly, when people give me that "aww, so sad" response to my "no, we weren't rich enough to have a prom", i don't have that self-pity. I just feel like punching them because it feels like major sarcasm.
Never into such things.
Imagine the money you could save just from buying a prom dress and besides, i'm in need of financial support at the moment so i'm not spending money on a freaking dress that i'm not wearing for the next 17years of my life.
If you asked me, i would rather hang out at McDonalds with 409 the entire day than walk around in a dress and heels. It's more practical, isn't it.
Ohwell, opinions differ. Mind is set, money-saving plan in continuation.

2010-11-25T22:47:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to the cutest dad someone could ask for. ♥
Too many things i want to say, so i'll just leave the message out and end it here.
Mugging starts tomorrow and i'm not going to let emotions rule me again. Not until exams end, at least.

2010-11-24T00:08:00.003+08:00

I love Harry Potter. HEH.
Somehow i think it was better than Half-blood Prince. Maybe because nobody else i like, died. Except Dobby, of course. Anyways, i'm looking forward to part2 next year already ~

Okay, what can i say except to pray. Please don't let the predictions be true. Gosh.
Can't November end already ? I thought things might happen near the end of the month and something like that actually pops out.
I should turn in early. Earth continues to rotate no matter what happens.
& i've to see her face tomorrow again. *Shudders*

*EDIT*
1. Recently, my personal list of "contradictory people" is getting longer. Am i biased or are they really getting increasingly problematic ?
2. I made an embarrassing mistake before lesson started.
3. I will never open a door 50 degrees wide just to see a class inside.
4. I think i contradict myself too. *Slaps self.
5. ITB lesson was shockingly okay, but i'm not sure if i can handle all the practises once i start.
6. It's a good thing i went home early to take a nap since the weather was exceptionally good.
7. But i'm still feeling tired and ever more lazy.
8. Probability of having insomnia again. ZZ.
9. Procrastinating and refusing to click the link for grammar practice.
10. I am still in Harry Potter fan mode.
11. Somehow thinking of HP links to Kpop and now i'm worried about GEMs.
12. When can i dump the burden of studies ? Not in exchange for work, obviously.
13. I'll start after i have my dinner. Anymore procrastinations, i'll bang the wall.

2010-11-21T23:27:00.003+08:00

The previous post was an embarrassment and a humiliation to my pride so i'll take it down.
I don't care if someone might have seen it, at least it's gone now and it'll be history ! :D
Like i said the last week, i'd die out in this week. Though it kinda lasted awhile, i'm not getting anywhere further now.
2weeks and counting. I didn't exactly confine myself at home like i wanted to, but at least i did manage to grasp the concept of econs so i guess that was quite a feat on its own already.
I'm thinking of attempting the 12hrs mugging session again. Am i a nerd or what. ZZ.

I know this blog is getting boring with updates about my life which revolves around academics and naturally, most of the things you find here are school-related.
Not that i can help it but the non-school stuffs aren't exactly that easy to post and i end up being the one confused even before typing it out.
They should consider inventing something that links your friends' rooms to yours so you can meet one another anytime. It'll be the best cure for lonely nights.

Fml, i'm not watching HP anymore. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.
Ever since i came into poly, somehow the so-common term "friends", seems to have been redefined.
Either i've been too ignorant, or things have changed. Not keeping my hopes high, as usual.
You know you aren't the only one suffering when your true friends in other schools tells you that the last time they cried was barely a week ago.
I wouldn't have known if i didn't ask.
Maybe i should start spamming them messages each day asking if they've cried, but that sounds quite sick on second thought.
I wish i had unlimited sms. Still feeling duped and cheated and now i've to wait till April that's freaking eons later, come to think of it.
Sometimes you just want to 感情用事 and 不管后果, and when the consequences sinks in, you want to 撞墙死掉.
Is it a fact that girls always come from complicated backgrounds, or is it just that boys are able to cover it up well ?
I don't know, i just know our group is a bunch of worried folks that's getting older with every new problems.

2010-11-17T21:59:00.003+08:00

Knowing that my fingertips smell of antibiotics makes me nauseous already.
Smartest thing was that i decided to test it out and see if it still lingered there. Now i feel like disinfecting my entire arm.

As i was sitting on the chair and daydreaming, it suddenly hit me and i checked how long it was till my birthday.
2weeks, not very short, but not very long either.
I've got nothing started even though i reminded myself i've to start working hard. Procrastination kills. Always.
Think i'll start this weekend. Have to be a little more kiasu since i take a much longer time than the others to absorb and digest math.
"BC next week, omg -.-", "GEMs presentation next week also, OMG =.=", "PACC & Econs not getting anywhere, OMGOMG ==", "FOM is non-existent (Y)"
Add it all up and it's FMLTTM. :D

Should i go for kbox ? HMM.
At least i'm sure i'm gonna watch HP. HEHEEE.

2010-11-15T19:10:00.003+08:00

I like to lie to myself that i'm perfectly fine by downing a cup of Coke.
This sucks.
There'll always be weird dreams, actually more like nightmares the day before i run a temperature. Maybe i should take note of such things more. Or does it happen to everyone ?
Anyways, i hope the pill works and that i'm up and about by tomorrow.
Thanks to my immune system that's so powderful, i didn't have the mood to finish watching SHINee on 100% entertainment.

& yes, i missed AFA. Since there's no Allen, i guess it really doesn't matter.
I think.
Just when i thought things might slow down, it speeds up and i can feel the stress already.
Life is so (Y), isn't it ?
Should turn in early to celebrate how great life is.

2010-11-14T17:11:00.002+08:00

Tetris, the all-time favourite. In the past.
Saw my mum playing it, so i decided to "steal" it from her for awhile.
I'm becoming a noob at it. Lack of practice, not my fault.
This is the second childhood electronic gadget i came across, that's still existing in my house. The previous one was the electronic laptop that i spent 30mins playing.
Wonder if i could dig out even more "treasures" from the storeroom.
Anyways, though this is a very cheap device, as you can see from its apperance, but i literally grew up playing it so i guess that means i'm a cheapo.
I still like it though.
To me, it has a higher value than PSPs.

I'm old.

2010-11-13T22:42:00.003+08:00

I go superman mode at the end of the week. Always.
I would be on cloud nine all the way till Monday, but remembering that i haven't touched Econs and project, i'm yawning away.
I said i'd start revision, but frankly, i've not started on anything. The best thing is that nothing gets into my head even while i listen to lectures. I'm doomed.
But all i can think of now is Harry Potter and Anime Fest that i doubt i'll be watching/going.
I need focus, seriously.

Headed to Pizza Hut for dinner after months.
I'm not going back anymore.

Monday. *Sighs*

2010-11-13T00:12:00.002+08:00

I thought i was gonna die with the vibrations from the constructions.
The best feeling while trying to concentrate on someone's presentation is when there are constructions going and it's continuous trembling for 2hrs, and you feel like vomiting.
Astro, what can i say. I literally forgot everything i remembered the last sem. As usual.
At this rate, i'll never reach my target, so i guess it's time for desperate measures. I'll come up with the measures later because my brain's literally dead right now.

Ever since GEMs started, i've not been very enthusiastic about it. Probably because i relate "Brand Design" to art and obviously, art to failure.
So i thought i should be a little optimistic about today's session and ended up finding that though it was kinda tough erasing that equation from my head, it was still possible.
Besides, we really heaved a sigh of relief when he accepted our idea immediately after we proposed it.
After hearing them talk about how he kept on rejecting their concepts, it's quite hard to not be afraid. Well, turns out there was nothing to be worried about.
Maybe because he thinks it's more practical than any other things, or he might just be biased. But i'm not about to find out which reason it is, all that matters is that he agrees with us.
Quite an achievement considering that we already planned what we wanted to do about 2weeks back. Partly thanks to our overly-imaginative minds and unlimited demands that helped branch out into other areas.
This is the first project this year that i saw hope. Then i thought again. It's just GEMs, not the most important modules of all.
Knowing that we were the last batch to take DBE, ONOW and GEMs made me want to stab myself again.

Originally wanted to watch tv till 3.30am because the show's nice though it's replaying for the second time.
With the number of things going on today, i doubt i can even last till 1.30am.

It's a mixture of anger, relief, happiness, weakness, and fatigue.
& i've lasted for a month already. I know it's kinda pathetic i'm keeping the promise by counting days and weeks, but if it works, then i just gotta stick to it.
I hope this can last till after the exams. I'm not about to let myself breakdown anytime soon.

2010-11-11T20:40:00.003+08:00

I guess i'm still not used to it.
But it was good to be able to talk to someone about things after so long.

I love Rebby & Seemin ! (;
Thanks to them, the rest of the day was removed of the nightmare from presentation and replaced with craps, lameness, retardedness and laughters.
Hope we could meet up real soon though i think it'll most probably be after my exams before we get together again.
While walking around with my darling, i just found that lame and idiotic side of me again.
Not that i don't lame-ify in school, but not as much as i always do. I think i adjusted it so that i didn't seem too weird.
It gets quite complicated explaining that so i'll just leave it to myself.
Bottom line, i'm a happy girl after seeing them. :D

The ending of presentation, for now, has given me time to recharge and go further.
But it's not the same when i've got my friends as the recharging "material".
So now i'm more energised than ever.
Though i think i'll die out next week. And then again, that'll be next week's problem so we'll see till then.

I should sleep early. 14hrs tomorrow, i could faint again.

2010-11-09T21:33:00.003+08:00

1. Woke up to an effing good weather.
2. Bathed in a totally cooling weather and ended up hiding under my blanket.
3. By the way, i woke at 6am.
4. Econs reminds me that it's time i woke up and started revision.
5. Lucky i brought FOM notes because i got too lazy to take it out from my file.
6. I'd be screwed if i didn't bring it.
7. Finished up FOM project, finally.
8. Thought we weren't gonna make it, or at least, take up till Wednesday to finish things up.
9. Our quick completion partly due to simplified work requirements and luck.
10. I'm hoping we can start our CA1 project way ahead so we don't end up doing last minute work anymore.
11. BC lesson cancelled, celebration at Hilltop.
12. Followed by a firedrill and immediate dampening of mood.
13. Headed to FC4 because didn't feel like going home.
14. Dropped my phone on the way. ON THE ROAD, wtf.
15. Obviously there are new scratches on my phone now.
16. Not forgetting that my heart got scratched with it, even though i keep throwing my phone on the bed/sofa.
17. Pray that it can tahan till next year when i change my phone. *Prays*
18. Slacked at FC4 till the timing we would be dismissed from BC.
19. Met my parents, coincidentally, again.
20. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
21. I wouldn't be looking forward to this particular week's Wednesday because of project, but since we're done with ours, there's something to be happy about.
22. Okay, maybe we just need to take a group photo for the ending slide.
23. 2hrs lesson, love it.
24. What can i do when i reach home at about 130pm ? Sleep, of course.
25. I can't imagine what life might be like when the next 2years come.
26. It makes me sigh automatically, on the thought that it's just the first year.
27. And then i wonder if my cousin went through all these before she made her way into NUS.
28. Try my best to work harder. 1month left.
29. There's nothing to do online these days.
30. But i'm still online, so i think i'm an idiot afterall.
31. Killing time by reading blog posts.
32. Regretting because the more i read, the more i felt sick of all those lies they come up with.
33. Always “当局者迷，旁观者清”。 Always.
34. It's already been a month since school started.
35. Also been a month that i've kept my promise to myself.
36. Obviously, after a month of schooling, i'm sleeping my way home.
37. Maybe we really should recommend the building of a hotel in SB.
38. Everyday, the same things goes through my head.
39. I can't wait for my holidays already. After 1month, i just about had enough.
40. I don't care if exams comes before it. I don't care majors comes 2months after that. I need it.

2010-11-08T22:18:00.003+08:00

Few weeks back, i realised i've been consuming excessive amounts of junk food. Or rather, heaty food in general.
So now, i'm making an extra effort to even bother to look at what i'm putting into my mouth.
I guess i've been in a desperate attempt to neutralise all the heatiness within my body that got accumulated in 17years, which explains the number of fruits i stuff into my mouth everyday.
Well, i didn't really consider what might happen if i over-did it, so now i'm regretting my decision of accepting the kiwi my parents handed me.
Yeah, i couldn't recall what was the reason for me running in and out of the bathroom until my parents asked what i ate in school and i replied, "Honeydew and papaya".
Adding it all up, i've eaten honeydew, papaya, apple and a kiwi in one day. Well done. (Y)
Obviously my healthy diet plan backfired.
I'm just hoping that i don't have to get up in the middle of the night and stumble my way in the dark, for the toilet.
Thanks to my speechless smartness, the only fan that's on in my room is the notebook cooler.

Somehow everyone's getting sick these days.
Time to take extra precautions so that i stay a bit healthier. Especially in this period that is so crucial.
FOM project continuation tomorrow.
I can't believe that "toilet" and "project" is co-existing in my brain right now.

2010-11-07T16:45:00.001+08:00

Did i mention that i love my dad ?
He is so very noble.
I can see the degree of his love for me when he took out the vacuum cleaner, handed it over to me, and told me to vacuum the floor for him.
(Y)
I love him A LOT.

MONDAY BLUES !

2010-11-07T01:10:00.002+08:00

Still alive and kicking and done with FOM research.
Even though i'm having this bad feeling, i'm washing my hands off it for now.
What matters is that i've done my part. Anything beyond what i'm supposed to do is not really my business.
Call it being overly-practical, but i did learn my lesson and i'm not gonna poke my nose into it unless i see a severe need to.
Dead beat now. Thought i was gonna fall asleep in front of the computer while doing research.
Luckily i didn't else i think i'll finish it at about 2am.
Feeling quite happy that i managed to finish my tutorials and project research before Sunday.
Okay, it's actually Sunday now, but it doesn't count unless after i've woken up.
So i guess i've got another 11hrs to enjoy the day before the 4th week starts.

It's been almost a month already. Time really flies.
& i'm still holding on. (;

2010-11-05T21:19:00.002+08:00

HAPPY DEEPAVALI. :D

It's an ordinary day.
Regretted not waking up early enough to tag along and visit my grandfather.
Not regretting the decision to visit my grandma.
Plus i got to see my cute baby cousin that kept clinging to me for no apparent reason and she called me X times. HEH !
I think she likes me more than my parents now, yay !
Okay, there might be a possibility that she just got attracted to the headphones around my neck than me. But i don't care, it's all the same. :D

Feel like sleeping but tutorials are still waiting for me.
I think i lack of sleep to the extent that i'm actually doing self-entertaining while doing it.
I start talking to myself halfway. Stuffs like, "Aiyah, 明明就在那边" or "怎么办怎么办怎么办，erh 知道了" and i end it off with "白痴leh".
I think i'm mad.

2010-11-04T21:31:00.002+08:00

When you follow your heart, your mind tells you that you'll probably regret.
When you do follow your mind, your heart questions your decisions.
Sometimes, you don't even know what to do and you end up doing nothing.
(Y)
...
"So far so good" = So far nothing done, that's why it's so good.
Yeah, i guess that pretty much sums up our progress in FOM.
Though the databases have proved themselves worthy of me reading them, the thought that i might continue facing news articles and statistics deters me as much as it interests me.
Photo-taking was a complete waste of time. I'm not sure if i preferred listening to the lecture or sweating like mad just for a 5min shot.

I've got plans for tonight, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and for the subsequent day after the day after tomorrow.
Now i just need to stop procrastinating, stop the flow of emotions, and use my brain a little more.

& please fucking stop being such an asshole. You need privacy, i need mine too.

2010-11-03T19:09:00.002+08:00

Means i'm not the only one feeling this way too.
Somehow the most important words are never said, and the most useless ones are always spoken.
Perhaps it's because they regard "speaking your mind" as a risk.
"Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication".
Sadly, i've not reached that level yet, and i think i pretty much suck at it.

Anyways, today is definitely a much better day than yesterday. Way much better.
Going home earlier, cup rice after eons, sleeping for 3hrs. (Y)(Y).
Even though i didn't do what i listed for myself, i'm still feeling satisfied from sleeping for 3hrs.
My sleeping pattern has changed back to something a tad more normal, from 11pm to about 7am. I feel healthier, though i know i'm deceiving myself. :D
But afternoon naps makes me wonder if i'd get to sleep at night. Doesn't matter for today because tomorrow is the last day of the week !~
Okay, now to start a little bit of researching for FOM. Like i can really put everything down and wait till the last minute.

See, this is the result of taking afternoon naps when you're home early.
Your mood gets better and you become more optimistic when you would usually be complaining about how sucky projects are.
:D

2010-11-01T16:11:00.002+08:00

Stuck in school waiting for lecture to start.
Literally dying of boredom that's why i'm here ranting again.
Lessons today revolved around personal-understanding or some sort.
BC was the discussion about our characters. Thanks, i'm proud to be an introvert. (Y)
ITB was asking us to find out which date we were born in and things like when we're reaching 10,000days old.
Yes, i'm reaching that age in 2021 when all my friends are hitting that on 2020.
But i got rather shocked when i saw that i lived for about 6k days already.
So i've been through about 6k incidents, assuming that everyday has some problems on its own.
I feel old, all of a sudden. I guess it's these incidents that changes us and the way we think.
If you asked me what makes me happy when i'm about 1k days old, i might just say that all the toys in the world are enough to make me smile everyday.
5k days later, when you ask me that same question, it's beyond toys already.

I'm old. *Runs to the corner and cry*
Well, the comforting to know is that my parents have fed me enough to see me live to 6k days old.
I am their "fixed asset" okay. The main source of reliance in the future. Perhaps another 6k days and when you ask me what could make me happy, i might just say i'm happy.
But you never know, with my ability to complain even when i've got so many things already.
That's why scarcity exists. ;)

2010-10-31T15:08:00.002+08:00

1. I feel so 惭愧 about my pessimism though it's like a reflex thing.
2. I'm in a Harry Potter craze again, thanks to the ongoing movie marathon now. (Y)
3. Of course, with movie marathons means my tutorials are stagnant.
4. Point 3 can't be blamed entirely on my laziness because he hasn't finished teaching and expects us to finish every single question that makes zero sense.
5. Obviously point 4 is also subjected to my unwillingness to read the ~~useless~~ thick textbook and attempt to understand it.
6. After writing out points 3 to 5, i feel so ashamed now i'm holding onto my textbook and wondering if i should start revising.
7. I feel that my privacy has been intruded once again.
8. I'm thinking of a way to put a stop to point 7 but i guess only technology can do the job and i'm highly reluctant to depend on those things.
9. Tomorrow is Monday.
10. Point 9 = Monday blues. Lessons were supposed to end at 2pm, but thanks to the cancelling of lecture on Friday, now we're supposed to stay till 6pm.
11. Fml.
12. Point 11 is the best example for point 1.
13. I realised why Shiping and i are friends.
14. Nothing done for FOM and it's giving me a headache just thinking about it.
15. The reason for headache is because other people in other classes/courses are already starting on their project and our group isn't even discussing anything. (Y)
16. Failure to be irresponsible/not worrywart-ish.
17. Random : I ♥ my headphones.
18. Crashing lecture isn't suitable for weak hearts.
19. Steffi said not to bother looking for cute guys because they're non-existent. (Y)(Y)
20. My friend has the 重色轻友 potential.
21. Point 20 highly important to note. She might dump me for her boyfriend someday. Thankfully she doesn't have one yet.
22. Jonghyuns came off again.
23. But i fixed it back myself, yay ! I'm NOT a noob. ):<
24. I still think everything is SM's plot.
25. I like to ~~vandalise~~ beautify people's papers, books, and notes with my drawings and writings.
26. I know you love them too. :D
27. Steffi adores the the one i drew on her POA book, especially. ;DD
28. I don't like the one she drew on mine though. :D
29. My resolution has lasted for 2weeks, and still counting.
30. & October ends here.

2010-10-30T12:54:00.003+08:00

Which explains everything.
...
Don't you just hate it when you've planned everything, even to the extent of preparations, and suddenly, people start telling you that they can't make it.
I shouldn't have slept early, and i definitely shouldn't have woken up so early.
Yesterday can be considered the earliest i've slept since school started. & the best thing is that today is a weekend so i can't even understand why i decided to head to bed that early.

I feel like a complete idiot and am in need of punching something. Probably tutorials.
So today i'm stranded at home dating with homeworks when i should be out and running about.
Where's my life ? Yeaps, i don't even have one.

2010-10-29T20:14:00.003+08:00

Irresponsibility is the ignorance of consequences.
I guess i've been too aware of the consequences that i kept doing things even though it's against my wills. But not for today.
That's why it's always easier to be the bad guy than the good one. Being irresponsible makes you have a hold on those responsible ones.
...
Things have made me asked how much i've learnt to let go.
Frankly, i'm not sure too. The only thing i know is that i've moved on. The past isn't something pulling me down so that's something good, i suppose.
Or perhaps the real troubles haven't surfaced, that's why i'm not feeling the stress yet. It's just the second week after all.
But maybe it's got something to do with my upbringing as well. Something i've always been thankful about ever since i was a kid.
Looking at all my friends, sometimes i can't help but feel that i'm far luckier than they are.
I have zero stress from my parents and that all the stress just came from myself. Self-generating pressure, excellent. (Y)
Maybe i've been used to failures. Failing maths and sciences like it's an everyday thing in primary school until secondary school.
I guess that partly attributes to why i can handle failures in academics though not like i don't feel a thing entirely. I'm not numb, for goodness sake.
So when i see people getting all upset because they didn't fare as well as they expected themselves to have, or when they failed and enter a state of depression, i'm usually in the -______- mood.
Just one failure and they made it seem like the end of the world. I must have died a million times when i was young then.
Basically, i just classify their reactions as "exaggerations".

Anyways, though i'm happy i can handle it pretty well, after my slight depression, it's not really a good thing.
Like i said, everyone around me are either math geniuses or future mad scientists. I don't really mix well with these people so i'm somewhat, out of the circle.
Either i try to blend in and become a math freak, or i just stick to being me.
But i think the latter interests me more than the former since the mention of figures doesn't really catch my attention except rejection.

Which then comes back to the question where i ask myself, what am i good at ?
I don't even know it myself.
That is unless sarcasm is considered a personal quality.

2010-10-27T21:17:00.002+08:00

You know it sucks when you wanna go somewhere and get away from everything, and you realised the reason you're stuck there is because you've got no money.
So i need to save like about 5k.
I think that's totally madness just from the idea of it.
I've no idea how some people can have 60k in their bank accounts.
Not to mention 60k, i don't think i'll even be able to save up to 1k.

Money, money, money. Yes, that's something i think about in secondary school everyday.
Can't help it when everyone's trying to save money. But i guess it's not working in poly where everyone's just effing rich and in the blink of an eye, you just spent your weekly allowance.
Fml.
Who said money isn't everything ? Apparently, money makes the world go round, just that it can't buy happiness.
Though i say it, i can't really see the difference because i'm not anywhere happier when i'm poor.

Why am i living so faraway ?~ If not, i could just walk there to find them !
If i'm good at sticking to plans and schedules, i would be drafting out how i'm gonna save money everyday.
But when it comes to monetary issues, somehow it never works.
I don't seem to be able to find that motivation to wake up earlier and make a lunchbox.
Obviously i eat a lot of junk food in between meals so there goes extra expenditures and i can't curb my mouth.
& my gastric's another thing that stops it all.
So even before i begin, it's all labelled as "epic fail" already. (Y)
Maybe i should try sustaining myself on a week's allowance for two weeks. Wonder if it'll work.

2010-10-26T13:46:00.003+08:00

I can already feel it coming. But there's not much i can do about it.
Another 3 more hours of school before i can run home and hide. Time is ticking slowly and i don't know what to do.
Reading the script again is equivalent to asking me to face all the problems again.
I've no idea why during every presentation, there'll be group problems coming out.
Never seen these kind of problems occurring on such a regular basis, so till now i still haven't gotten hold on how to react to different situations.
I guess i never will.
It's not like i want to keep them behind when they're not feeling well.
But i just feel that they're throwing everything to those who are staying behind to clear the mess they've made. Seriously, i'm not even obliged to do all these.
On account that we're all friends, i can accept it, though it doesn't mean i like it.
Don't make it seem as if i'm the bad guy, that i don't have sympathy for someone who's not well, because i'm thinking for everyone.
Maybe it's just the way i show it..

So just screw this thing. Seems like things will never work out right even when we're all in the same group.
The quiz might be right. Working individually is at times, better than being in groups.
I used to hate the idea of doing things alone because it just seemed.. lonely. Immature thinking, i suppose.
Now i can see why working alone is better.
...
There's always a balance.
When everything seems to be on the right track, something pops out to set it off and usually it's not that easy to solve until time reveals it all.
When you've done everything you can but failed and have prepared yourself for the worst, things ain't as bad as you thought it would be.
It's getting so regular, i've nothing to say. The only response to it is sleeping all the way home.

2010-10-24T21:52:00.002+08:00

Confrontations in the face doesn't work either. Now you really can't blame me for questioning your supposed "leadership" that's non-existent.

I thought with slightly lesser tutorials and projects in the first week, i could enjoy my weekends.
Turns out i more or less procrastinated 2days away and only finishing up the other Econs tutorial.
The more i do Econs, the more i realise i don't understand the concept that well and the dumber i feel.
I wouldn't be this pessimistic if not that i couldn't even read those simple Jap words as well.
So now, i'm not really catching up with Macroecons, my Jap's not getting anywhere, and i'm not improving my Astro skills.
Owned. (Y)
What makes me feel disgusted is that i actually know i'm those kind of idiot that would forget every single thing i learnt if i don't recap 24/7, and i still chose to NOT recap 25/8.
When can i ever kick this laziness of mine ?

Anyways, was watching "I am Legend" on Channel5. Yes, i know that's like a freaking long-ago show but i couldn't find the guts to watch it in theatres with the stupid sound system and i doubt my friends would agree to it as well.
But i must say that watching on the tv was equally nerve-wrecking. ZZ.
Nonetheless, a very intriguing movie. “发人思想” is all i can say.
I'm not sure if that's how you write the chinese words. Can't help it, my England and China damn cui now.

& i got so bored i continued watching the news without changing to the Chinese channels. Seriously, the shows are getting so boring i literally changed my 16years of habit of watching Mandarin dramas to English ones.
Okay that wasn't what i was going to say. Dammit, stop sidetracking me. Must be my right and left brain trying to co-exist again as usual.
ANYWAYS, apparently trips to countries like Europe needs an estimate of 8k. Okay, am i too poor or is it that the people are too rich they can actually afford that amount. ZZ.
I'm not even gonna travel to the other side of the planet but i doubt 2k can even suffice.
Brings me back to reality. I wonder if i should dream or should i not at times.
It's good to have a dream. But it feels very impractical when i know obviously, it's not happening anytime soon.
With people holding stuffs like iPhones, BB, DSLRs, semi-pros, and whole bunch of luxury goods rather than necessities, can you not wish you weren't rich yourself ?
Yes i am this practical and no i don't have the means to get myself rich at this age unless i marry Jonghyun.

I just realised why i feel more comfortable with my secondary school friends.
Because even when they're rich, they jio you to eat yong tau foo everyday instead of sushi.
Because they're the ones doing household chores with me, instead of being wait upon by their maids.
Because no matter how smart they are, their hearts are still that innocent you never include "backstabbing" into your dictionary.
Because they're so kind-hearted that they really go all the way out though they keep complaining how much trouble you've caused them.
Because they don't compare, although they keep talking about studies unless you ask them to shut up.
Because they don't gossip and think that it's weird to NOT have a boyfriend.
Because i am just myself, without holding back anything.

Even with that list of reasons, i don't hold onto it as much as i did last time.
I'm not sure if that's something good or not.
Perhaps i really did let go and learn to move on myself.

2010-10-24T02:08:00.002+08:00

Remind me why i decided to believe in the word "trust" again.
Everything's just a fucking lie.
Can you believe it ? I got duped, again.
It's only the first week of school and there's this kind of problem coming up from the mere cooperations between one another.
Someone tell me why there're people like that existing and breathing the same air as i am.
When it's just normal/random messages, they reply immediately.
But when you need them to help solve some problems or even, projects before a deadline or you'll be in deep shyt, they ignore it altogether.
Best is they don't even bother replying to it after the time for submission has passed.
Fuck, if i relied on them i would be dead on the first semester already.
等他救命倒不如等死.
I still salute to those people that are aware of all the problems we might face, and direct the question back to me on how to solve it.
Kao, if i knew how to solve it myself, i wouldn't even need to tell you in the first place right.

The only thing i'm thankful for is that because of all these bastards, i've been able to learn how to settle everything myself.
求人不如求己。求人还可能求错人，求了个王八蛋。
...
人生就因为有这些白痴拼命在后面扯你后腿，所以你才会更珍惜那些拼命拉着你往前跑的人。

2010-10-23T00:49:00.003+08:00

I hate it when i'm away from the computer for just a day and everything starts getting spammed.
Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr. It just continues loading and i've to keep scrolling down i just feel like punching all those who spams the news feeds/timeline.
Anyways, been in school for 13hrs. Not 14 today because PACC tutorial started 1hr later, thank goodness else i'd be dead.
Miracle happened for my PACC and Econs paper. I guess there's really hope for my GPA though Macroecons ain't gonna be a friendly challenge.
I guess Elena's theory was wrong. Really wrong.

GEMs was okay. It would have been perfect if not for the rather weird people there who dressed weirdly or had weird hairstyles. Design school students ?
Just felt out of place but luckily i've got Steffi. I think apart from the two of us, the others are all from other faculties. ZZ. Totally didn't understand the lecturer's words because everything was design-termed.
But i guess it's one of the right choices to have joined her because better to be with a friend than being all alone and ending up being partnered to maybe some damn cui person.
Since her lecture was cancelled, headed to Hilltop to do tutorials. So hardworking siol ~

Still feeling rather happy that i managed to complete 2 tutorials rather than wasting time slacking like i would have if i were alone.
If not for the overly-chiongster Econs teacher, i'm done with the weeks' tutorials already. On a brighter note, at least it was time well-spent at the library. (;
Though we did take mini breaks here and there, doing retarded things, talking and going through braindead phases, it was still nice to hangout with her since we were never in the same class until 4years later.
Sent Chaongin the random picture i promised her. Sometimes i like to do these kind of weird random things and i don't really know why.
Just to make people smile ? I don't know, i just find it sweet. Hope she really cheered up. :)

After waiting for Rach and her group of friends, headed for dinner. With the addition of all the newcomers, we've actually increased the number of people in our "clique" to 10 and that's like making up a big part of Astro already. LOL.
Somehow i still feel like they're those 三分钟热度 kind. Okay, at most give them till 五分钟. Judging by the way they were complaining about how boring it was even though it's just the first session for them, i doubt they'll come back for other sessions unless it's something that captures their attention.
But either way, feeling happy i saw the pretty Moon and Jupiter. Disappointment from the meteor shower though, obviously. What to do ? Stupid haze.
I guess today's been the most tiring day since school started and i'm sure there'll be even longer ones in the near future. Walked the entire campus, literally. No joke, i think i can collapse anytime.

The 3 of us were so tired we just slept the entire way back.
It wasn't a really peaceful sleep though, since there's this freaking psychotic guy that keeps looking at me. Wtf is his problem sia.
It's getting rather ridiculous that there's so many weirdos running around Singapore but nobody's putting them into IMH. ZZ.
You sit, they stare. You stand, they stare. You sleep, they stare. You listen to music and look around, they stare.
Wtf, don't they know that it's basic manners to avert their gazes ?
That guy just gives me the creeps and it's just the first week of school. Imagine meeting one each week, fml.

Anyways thanks to my STM, i forgot to bring Stats book and Rach had to go back home with me to take it. Yes, after Astro so by the time we reached home it was about 11.15.
I'm such a good friend lah ! I was afraid there might be psychos hiding somewhere since she's prone to attracting psychos, so i went to the bus stop with her sia.
Somemore i jaywalked just to hail the bus for her if not she's gonna have to wait for another 15mins.
I cancel my thought about sitting at the void deck and enjoy the breeze. It's freaking cold and with perverts running loose, not a very good idea.
...
So that marks the week and commencement of the first weekends since school reopened !
Yeaps, if i didn't constantly remind myself that it's just the first week, i might have thought school started for about 2 or 3 weeks now.
Only the first week and it's so tiring that i practically slept my way to school or back home most of the time.
Tell me what happens in the next 2years..

2010-10-21T19:24:00.002+08:00

I opened up the window at 6pm. It's already 8pm now.
Think, type, rethink, delete. Think, type, rethink, delete. I'm so contradicting i feel like banging my head against the wall.

Friday's here soon. Everything makes me look forward to it, aside for the 14hrs.
What more can i say ?
Realised that i've been neglecting Astro after i started learning Jap. I should have better time-allocation.
So many things to do though. Laziness coming in again.
I doubt we'd get to see much stars or even the mini meteor shower with the huge haze looming over Singapore now. Hope it stops before things gets worst.
Talking about meteor showers, i'm already looking forward to the one in December though in my resolutions list, i said i wouldn't think about December. Fail.
Anyways, the smart me have decided that this time round, i'm not going to make the same old wishes i always made in recent years.
Though i don't really believe in such things, but i've had enough of wishing for everyone but myself. The last time i really wished for myself was in Primary school and i think it was something related to money. LOL.

If it's a good weather on the day of the meteor shower, you know who to thank. :D
In exchange for 120 wishes, best deal ever.
Money-related wishes shall depend on aeroplanes to fulfil them..
If i miss this upcoming one, i'll go bang into the tree on the spot. Promise.

2010-10-20T22:12:00.002+08:00

MSN has finally been updated.
But i'm not sure if it's a good thing i changed it or a bad thing i don't know how to use it.
That's why i said i hate changes. Especially technological ones.
I think it's time i started worrying about how i'm going to handle ITB.
& i just watched this variety show teaching people how to apply makeup in less than 10mins so that they wouldn't have to wake up early in the morning just to prepare for work.
I've got a feeling i'll suck at that as well.
Everyone's been into the make-up trend these days for some unknown reason.
At times when i step into the class, i wonder if i'm going to school or a fashion parade.

Anyways, i'm just hoping time flies tomorrow so that the 3hr tutorial is gone asap.
& that Friday comes faster so it's the end of the week again !~
They say they have to stay in school for 13hrs tomorrow.
Then what should i say if i'm staying in school for 14hrs every Friday ? Tsk.
I've to figure out what i'm gonna do during that period or i'll be bored to death and sitting there alone like a complete moron.

2010-10-19T23:16:00.004+08:00

Even though we say it's okay and put on a smile, obviously the heart doesn't agree with the words.
I wish i'm more aware of the feelings of those around me more.
...
Sometimes i don't even know whether i offended them or not. Maybe because i'm used to the constant teasings that i find it difficult to speak with zero sarcasm.
"虚伪" is basically glued to "speaking nicely". Doesn't it feel like you're closer with the person when you tease one another rather than speaking oh-so-friendly 24/7.

Scenario 1 :
*虚伪ness/Speaking nicely*
A : Omg that shirt looks so nice on you it just brings out your elegance and unique personality !
B : Nah it's nothing. I think those shoes of yours are nicer. They're so cute that i bet all the girls in the world would want a pair of them !

V.S

Scenario 2 :
*Teasings*
A : Oi, you how old already still wear something so weird. Ohyah i forgot, clothes that are worn by you will always be classified as weird.
B : You aren't anywhere better ! Look at those shoes. Want act cute ah ? Epic fail lor please.
**Thinking : I'm not going to admit it even though it really does look nice. :D

Don't you find the first scene rather dull and boring and stupid and retarded and plain idiotic ?

But thanks to this mindset, offending people is something that's inevitable. And, it gets worst when the other party's a petty person. More often, girls.
Imagine if you have good intentions, but the other person interprets it as a bad one because the way both parties does things is different, that's like so 冤枉.
I think that's why girls are always more problematic than boys and that's why i don't like to hangout with people that keeps finding things to talk about and especially those that keeps shooting their own foot.
One of the reason why being a boy is better than a girl. (Y)

Anyways, all these aren't exactly my main point.
I was just trying to remind myself that i should be sensitive to my surroundings but because i can't really relate it together and also partly to do with my overly-imaginative mind, i ended up with all these crap.

But don't you find such craps better than talking about school ?
To me, i'd rather share opinions than constantly remind myself about what i'm going through currently. As if i needed more miseries in my life.
Okay, gonna go sit near the fan. I'm so freaking hot even though the fan's facing me.

2010-10-17T21:32:00.003+08:00

School's starting tomorrow and the thought of it makes my heart beat million times faster like i'm going to see Jonghyun, fml.
Just hoping that insomnia doesn't come tonight because i'll seriously regret if i didn't get enough rest for tomorrow.
Though it's not 8am lessons for Mondays, but the 2hr tutorials seem draggy enough & i'm ashamed to say that i've forgotten which block is which, apart from knowing where Business school is located at.
But i'll be on my way home before 5 so that's something to celebrate about.
Plus Starbucks is officially opening tomorrow ! :DD
Now there's another thing worthy of opening another bottle of champagne.

Went to look up at the website in hope of reading an article related to it but apparently, they didn't really bother to update so quickly.
As i browsed through the webpage, i felt that same stingy feeling i had when i was looking at it while choosing schools earlier this year.
Still feels rather alien to me.
& i concluded that i didn't really detest SP. It wasn't really the school's fault.
I just pushed the blame on SP for my willingness to let the miseries consume me.
Frankly, i kinda pretty much like it. Maybe it's because of the food and the environment. LOL, yes i am that materialistic.
This explains why i'm having the "can't wait for school to start" mood right now and i think i am in serious need of a slap.

Freaking thing, i'm going to have to bring my laptop to school on the first day already.
I'm going to pick up the art of teleportation from where i left off before holidays came.
& yes, if i do fail which i highly doubt so, you can find me at Starbucks. I've decided that i'll wait for the love of my life there instead of McDonalds like what that Octopus Paul predicted.
...
Anyways, went to pray again.
I think i've really been heading to the temple every week since holidays commenced.
Total devotion. (Y) LOL !
Though i'm still rather reluctant to leave the comforts of my home with 5 freaking mosquito bites on my leg and i'm forced to wear shorts because jeans just makes things worst.
In the end, my supposed shopping trip turned out pretty much empty-handed.
& we went to the library for no reason and my Dad kept asking me to borrow relevant business books that were so freaking thick i mosaic-ed the entire section of the books from my brain.
Saw those students studying for Olevels and it reminds me of what i did last year.
Okay, i didn't really study outside much because i'm more comfortable at home & because i always woke up late that there's usually no more tables left when we reached.
...
Ohyah, before i go, i'm going to come up with a new list of resolutions for this term.
1. Spend less time eating.
2. Spend more time studying Jap.
3. Spend even more time studying business-related books like what my Dad wishes me to.
4. Be more optimistic than ever.
5. Restrain myself from saying vulgarities though i know it's impossible the moment i typed this out.
6. Save money.
7. Stop oversleeping and bringing adapter to school without the laptop.
8. Work very much harder in all aspects.
9. Laugh even more often than the previous semester. Obviously, crying MUST be removed.
10. & stop hoping that December comes because it'll be exams before holidays.

I'm not keeping my hopes high on this resolution list because resolutions don't usually get fulfilled. LOL.
Well, i've got certain things in mind but only time will tell if it all works out.
Hwaiting !~

2010-10-16T23:36:00.002+08:00

I deleted my previous post because i thought it was too pessimistic towards life.
Why the sudden realisation ?
Because i got so bored, i contemplated between watching Hello Baby for the umpteenth time & reading my previous blog entries.
So obviously, i chose the latter.
I believe i have a recent enough blog entry that consisted of me and my reflections after reading them. But i guess it doesn't kill to do another one.

Somehow, i couldn't bear to read the very early ones. Probably those around sec2 year end ?
I've always been saying how i hate people typing in a way that makes it irritating to even read in the first place.I'm fine if it's wordy, but not when the way they type contains X number of "orhh", "worr", & a whole chunk of obvious 撒娇ing in it.
Thank god i didn't blog in a very 撒娇 way or i'm most likely standing by the edge of a cliff right now.
Just that i wasn't too far from the extra-letter-at-the-end way of writing. No eye see, seriously.
So i'll be frank and said i skipped most of the posts. Okay, because gaming was more or less the main topic throughout the posts, it's like a total waste of time to even read it in the first place.
I can't understand why i had the mindset that i wouldn't regret blogging all those things back then when i asked myself what if i outgrew it all.
Then i just skipped all the way to sec3 and 4 life. Tremendous change, i suppose.
Initially it was a very dead blog since i had quite a hard time coping. In the end it turned out i blogged quite often, like now, because i used "blogging" in replacement of the word "slacking".
Actually, i'm still shocked i could remember certain events so vividly.
Minor things like what happened on the way to the bus stop, what happened in class, the jokes we made, the things we did etc.
I can only say that i used to be naive, and most importantly, happy.
Ignorance has got to be part of it. But even though i'm seeing things clearly, i still find happiness with the same companions. So i guess it differs..
Everyday was just :
-> Be the first to reach school. [ When i'm not the first, you know 162 has got to be the culprit. ]
-> Learn to talk with people, 360degrees.
-> Half-sleeping during Physics. Busy copying Maths. Almost dozing in English. Being mean during Chinese. Going wild at PE. Confusion in Biology. Crapping with Chemistry. Training hand muscles in Humanities.
-> Compete against one another for a cubicle / Running to the canteen.
-> Continue lessons.
-> After school, taking bus with Rach or going to J8/AMK Hub to hangout.
-> Go home slack/study.
-> Sleep and wait for a new day.
I don't think i could even have permanent unhappiness then. Not that i have it now, but this one lasted longer than any.
That's why i decided that i should be positive all over again.
I am not pessimistic entirely. Just that i've given up on certain things. But even though i gave up on things, i never give up on myself. :D
So i'll try to sustain this happiness for as long as i can. That kinda explains why i decided i should remove the earlier post.
Disappointments, who never experienced it ? It's a feeling, it's bad, but it'll pass, and i'm not going to be brought down by new things popping out now and then because if i did, all of it would be enough to make me end up in IMH and i'm not throwing my future away just like that.

I wouldn't say i miss the past now. Because currently, i'm not too depressed just yet.
Like i said, i've moved on quite a bit this holiday. How much i've moved doesn't matter. What matters is i'm no longer stagnant there.
I would have thought i've seen things quite clearly already but in actual fact, i still have a lot more to ponder about.
I'll continue thinking about it from other perspectives. I'm just afraid my braincells give up on me already. :P
& the most obvious change i observed was that my blog entries got significantly shorter with the start of Poly life and usually, 90% of it contains vulgarities and unhappiness.
I think it's going to have an adverse effect on my health so i'll just stop. Besides, the weather's killing me and i'm literally sweating in my room with the fan facing me. ZZ.
So from now on, i'm going to try and blog as long as what i did last time.
One thing good about long and draggy posts is that you have more details and even if your memory fails you, you can depend on it to remind you what once happened.
It's like your brain being cloned and coded into words. Not as nice as what you had seen once, but it's good enough.
The reason why i stopped blogging such long posts was because i thought it might be difficult and tiring to read, for people and myself, and it'll make the entire thing look kinda weird.
I guess it's time i stopped worrying about what others might think and maybe, live for myself a little.
You know it's bullshyt when they say you should live for yourself because living for yourself is equivalent to being selfish. People always expect you to think for them rather than for yourself so if you really did, you'll be deep shytz for life.

Anyways, i'm just glad i decided to read the old posts.
I once told Chaongin that her blog entries were getting shorter and emo-er, but what i didn't realise was that i was doing the same thing too. Ironic.
But thanks to these 5weeks, i've been cheerful again.
Though i'm still dreary about school, it's gonna haunt me in another day's time. For now, i have another day to be happy.

Okay, this is a freaking long post and i guess i totally illustrated what i wanted to say and even more.
Holding on..
So what's going to happen tomorrow ? (;

2010-10-14T00:58:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIMSHIPINGZ.
WOOH. :D

Actually the birthday message has more or less been conveyed entirely through fb & msn, so i guess there's no need to type anymore here aside for the fact that another one of my friend has turned 17 and i'm still 16.
HAHAA. (Y)
...
Chose GEMs like finally.
1minute can be life-changing. Thank goodness my comp didn't die on me.
I thought i was going to die of heart attack in that interval from 10:59:59 to 11:01:00.
Anyways, just glad it's over though i've no idea where the hell the lecture room is at. But whatever.
So i'm like the only one in my class that chose GEMs on Friday. Thanks to Astro, i've dedicated the last day of the schoolweek for GEMs.
Thought of going to the same thing with the others. But since they aren't considering in the long-term, unlike me, i shall stick to my decision.
At the very least, i'll have Steffi to accompany me. (:
There's not much choices, given the restricted circumstances, to begin with..

A rather long and dreary day, to sum it all up.
Just pray that Jjong gets well soon. *Shimmering tears.
& my fingertips are numb for no reason again. Wth.
...

我假装不在意，反而痛了自己。
多痛都可以，不能没有你。
只想永远永远爱你，你知不知道我都没关系。

2010-10-13T00:44:00.002+08:00

5weeks well-spent, i could say. This might be the most meaningful period of holidays i had in my life.
Probably because i really did cherish it and make full use of it rather than the usual plans of bonding sessions with my bed.
But i guess good things never last.
...
Went to fly kite ~~today~~ yesterday.
The last time i flew it at ECP with my dad and it was mostly him handling with it since i'm a beginner at it. That was like, 2 to 3years back.
Today, i have proven that i suck at flying kites.
I can't get it off the ground much. I can't get it to fly. And i can't sustain it in the air whenever the wind threatens to die out and it attempts to kite-crash to the ground.
Suddenly remembered that they always like to illustrate relationship management as kite-flying.
That's like the trigger that leads to the wave of thoughts.

Anyway, i think and think, and eventually, i forgot everything.
So i thought for nothing. Total waste of energy. I think i just have too much time on my hands.
...
My heart's pounding when it's not a big deal. But yah, just can't help it.
Besides, it's still approximately 9hrs 45mins away. Why am i being so worried about ?
Logic aside, i'm sure i'll be having an uneasy night as usual.
Sometimes i just want to pluck out my brain/heart and force it to forget everything so that i can sleep dreamless.
Dreams just makes it equally tiring when you wake up.

Must be too stressed up these days. No idea over what. I guess i'm just having this transition period in life.
Still looking forward to the day i get outta here and tour the world without any worries.
For starters, i should just find a rich husband.
& it's interesting to know that at the age of 16, 80% of the people have already met the person they're going to marry.
So i have another 2months to get Jjong to realise i'm over here !~ :D
*SPAMS SIGNBOARDS IN ATTEMPT TO GAIN ATTENTION*

2010-10-12T00:41:00.002+08:00

I think i'm getting STM, i can't seem to remember what i wanted to blog about.
Or perhaps because there were too many things to mention i just forgot everything at once.
(Y)
So it's kayoobi already and all i want to do is sit on my bed and sulk all the way till getsooyobi.
Stupid thought ? I don't think so, since i'm trying to brace myself for what's coming up.
Once school starts, there'll be so many things to do again.
1. Buying textbooks. Fml, asking me to walk to FC5 with the freaking heavy laptop.
2. Looking at fucked-up faces that makes me feel constipated the entire day.
3. Facing tutorials and PROJECTS.
4. Mainly facing the laptop since there's ITB & i'm totally dreading it.
5. Rush home straight after school - Be a total NERD.
6. More or less, be an extra. 半隐形人 ~

I've been worrying since exams ended.
Worrying that my results might not be good, that my efforts weren't enough.
Worrying that i've to repeat the module. Worrying about being few paces slower than others.
Worrying that start of school would be bad. Worrying that things didn't change and i'm gonna use the F word all over again.
Worrying that i can't maintain the standard of my results.
Worrying that i can't get into university like the others.
Worrying about GEM. Worrying about whether i would be in the same class as the others and whether the people in the class is nice.
Worrying that in the new semester, i wouldn't be able to catch up.
Just, worrying.
I'm surprised i don't have a head full of white hair.

Tired about thinking so much.
But somehow, it's not like i can stop. Life just goes on even without me moving on.
...
她说她很羡慕我能随着周边的事物而改变。
但她不知道我佩服她那 “逆风而不倒” 的精神。

My wish for this semester ?
That i'll be even more independent than before.

2010-10-10T22:13:00.005+08:00

I woke at 1010, and i forgot this happened in a 100years, i ended up going back to sleep. (Y)
About 10mins ago, it's the second 1010101010, and i missed it again. (Y)(Y).
I think i'll see more of 1111 instead of 1010s.

Anyways, too much going on in my head i can't say what's going on right now.
All i can say is, never overthink.
When you see through things, you see through all the walls and reality is never something you wanna know if you can live in an illusion.

School's starting in a week. Time passes too quickly, i hope time stops now.
But come to think of it, even if it did stop, i would never realise since i'd be freezing in time with it.
So that's like a vague hope. I should just pray holidays extend for another week.
Stab my heart. My cousin's having 2weeks more of holidays than i am. Fmlfmlfml.
& GEM is giving me a headache.
Do not be fooled by its name. I thought it sounded so precious when i entered SP at first. In the end it's just 烂泥一堆.
Somehow though, i'm thankful i gave up Diploma Plus. Imagine if i had that, and projects, plus stupid GEMs, i'd have a nervous breakdown.
Besides, the more time i have on my hands, the better it is since i'll be able to do my own things. (;

After almost a month, i can only say that, i still dislike technology.
& that i should really go exercise for a bit more.

My dreams are getting weirder by the day.
Violent, at the same time too. No idea why. It gets rather eerie when you recall, but not during the dream, i guess.
Anyways, i never knew i had the guts to face ______ and asked them to 现身, or killing snakes with Baygon. (Y)
Overly creative imagination ?

Oh.
Have i said this ?
Fuck, school just makes me hyperventilate and panic.

2010-10-09T01:00:00.002+08:00

The future seems so uncertain.
I can't exactly see it since everything's more or less like a blur.
& with so many issues going on around, i'm not sure if it's going to go smoothly at all.

All thanks to the website i just read, i'm having chills on the thought of what lies ahead of us all.
If i didn't see it, i wouldn't have known, and i guess i'd be ignorant.
But somehow, if all these are really going to happen, i wish i never knew so that at least i wouldn't live in fear everyday.
Now i'm basically trying to calm myself down though how effective it is i'm not so sure.
Sucky thing is i'm supposed to wake up at 9am later on and it's 1 now. ZZ.

Anyways, i hope school's all good.
Even though i say i'm not going to give a damn about them, it's kinda hard to totally erase their existence when you're going to see them every minute, every second.
The 5weeks holiday has allowed my brain and heart to recuperate from all the constant torments everyday.
I hope it has healed enough to tolerate till the next holiday.
I just realised that i've been going to the temple every Sunday so i guess that's something good ?
& i'm on a mission to thank 观音妈 for giving me the emotional support and getting such good grades though the greedy me isn't satisfied with it.
&& to pray that everything goes well once school reopens.
My mum always say that when i'm having exams or getting back my results, the busiest person isn't myself, but 观音娘娘. Make me sound like some kiasu aunty go there spam wish sia !

It's shocking how my blog posts during school days were so emo back then, and now, i'm like in cloud nine and ready to face it all again.
I think i'm just courting death and i'm having a gut feeling that i'll regret this thought the first day i step back into campus.
Ohwell, better to be optimistic for awhile than to be pessimistic all the while.
...
I think i've been overly-expressing my 感恩 towards my parents, they're having all these wild guesses that i need their help in some things or that their daughter wrecked havoc somewhere. -.-
Am i really so materialistic that even my own parents regard my thanks as 没事献殷勤 ? ):
But i'm really glad i made that decision. At least i can show them that i'm old enough to use the rice cooker. LOL !
Not bad for a first-timer. :D

Even though i've been at home for about 2days now and not having much plans to go out, i'm not boring myself out.
Probably thanks to the book. HEH.
But it's rather depressing to know that i can't really form sentences well with the insufficient vocab i have.
Though i've gotta say i'm happy i can read its characters. The matter of understanding it is another question. LOL.
I hope i can keep this up. It's getting tougher to get it in my head when i'm not sure if i'm writing Jap or Latin at times.
When other people are working on their math, i'm working on language. I wonder if i'm ever going to get the chance to put it to use.
After i'm done with this, i might continue with Korean. (:<
For now, Nihongo wa gambatteh ne ! ;)

2010-10-08T00:57:00.002+08:00

Timetable's out.
What can i say besides, IT'S FUCKED UP.
VJ's taking us for FOM, yay. 3hrs tutorial straight.
Going to school for 2hrs of ITB lecture and dismissed at 12pm, yay again.
7hrs of waiting for CCA to start on Friday. YAY TTM SIOL ! I think i could just bring a sleeping bag and find a spot to sleep till it starts. ZZ.

I'm not sure if VJ's gonna be biased like that bitch or not. I hope he's not.
But if he is, please make him biased to the extent that we all don't flunk our FOM. T-T
Now with the release of the timetable, i feel like crying more.. ZZ.
I've been sighing on the thought of all these, and it kinda reminds me of _______.

Other than welcoming the new school term with open arms no matter how strong the sense of rejection is within me, there's nothing else i can do.
& i realised that Tumblr always have all these unexpected pictures and quotes that somehow, miraculously, or eerily, appears at the time i'm having the exact same kind of feeling.
Is it a hint or something ? Lol.
...

So I’m going out there. And I’m going to do the best I can. People are going to get in my way. Things are going to bring me down. But I’m going to keep going. I’m going to reach as far as I can, for every thing I’ve ever wanted. And I’m not giving up. Because that’s what you do when your dreams are more important than your fears. You go out there and ignore the odds. You focus on one thing- that your dreams come true.
- K. Boulder

2010-10-07T15:28:00.002+08:00

It's the JC students' promo period right now.
If i really went to a JC, i should be slogging my guts out by now. Or probably already dead.
Being alive and still kicking right here should be something good though i can't really say that when school starts in a week's time..
Anyways, i see people that're taking it easily [ they're too smart ] and also people that can't really handle the pressure from it all [ too tired of disappointments ].
Especially ________. ):

So to ________, don't give up just yet !
I do question education. Really often too.
We ask why are we learning stuffs we might not use in the future. That's like a complete waste of time and brain space - I could've put my brain to better use or something.
But if we really didn't we'd be like the frog in a well. 就像没看过天有多辽阔，便以为是圆的。
Anyways, rather than asking things and not being able to change anything, let's just face it, and who knows one day you just might need all these unnecessary knowledge that you thought you might never need.
& always remember not to give up.
Putting in effort may or may not lead to your desired outcomes.
It is, however, best to work hard in everything you do because at least, you can tell yourself that you've given it your all.
On the other hand, if you wish you didn't just because you knew the result wasn't equal to the amount of effort you put in, you'll regret.
Twist the scenario around, imagine if you didn't study hard and the outcome wasn't what you wanted, you might have asked why you didn't attempt to work hard enough and maybe, things might be different.
Bottom line : Let go once you've done your best. 有些东西死命抓住只会让自己更累。
So just cheer up. (;

Not sure if you'll see this though, but i guess you just might. :)
Gotta agree with the last statement though..
...
Okay, i'm gonna go cause an explosion in the kitchen later on.
I've never prepared dinner before, so i hope i don't screw it up.
Hey, at least it's not too late to learn how to cook, not that i have any intentions of staying in a kitchen for a long period of time.
Just figured that i always wanted to do it for once, so instead of waiting till school starts and having negative initiative to do it, i'd do it now when i'm still in the mood.

I wonder if the insurance covered explosions in the kitchen..

2010-10-06T23:44:00.002+08:00

All the cooking today has drained much of my energy.
The entire process can be summed up with unexpected situations, several failures, some successes and a whole lot of washing.
Good things are limited and the worst things are abundant.

Though i quite enjoy the eating part, i'm not really sure if i wanna step into the kitchen in the next few years.
...
When i look at them, i stand firm on my decision.
When i look the other direction, i waver and question if i should attempt.

Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.
I'll try.
...

Been about 2days now and i'm at pg35 out of about 400pgs.
I'm not sure if that's called laziness or going at a normal pace.
But somehow, it's obvious i'm getting a bit too old for learning languages right now. HAHAA !
Imagine if i decided to start studying it at the age of 20+, i might just stun at the first page.
Anyways, it's still quite tricky since the sentence structures are the complete opposite from the so-accustomed English.
We say, I love chocolates.
They say, Chocolates i love.
However tough it might be, i'll just continue working harder. There's been obvious improvements in my ability to read the characters, so if i keep up, i just might be one step closer..

When i'm facing the book, it feels like i'm in another dimension, away from reality.
Perhaps that's something good because i could just treat it as a form of escape and yet at the same time, continue self-learning.
Honestly, i never really did attempt to do anything beyond what i'm expected to do, in my entire life. Even if i did, it was for extra revisions for exams.
But never this. So i'm quite happy that i actually took the initiative after so long, to go and learn something i always wanted.
Passion does a lot of things.
Just that i'm not sure if it's 三分钟热度 though.
...

"I didn't notice you were here."
"That's all right," Eeyore said as he sat down.
"Nobody ever does."